Accustomed to his Face
by Draqonelle
Summary: The Slayers gang goes to Pepper Festival to reveal their future, but Zelgadis finds a way around his curse. Shounenai and Lime
1. The deal

Accustomed to his face  
By Draqonelle mailto:draquonelle@hotmail.com  
Part 1/?  
Rated PG so far.  
no I do not own Slayers nor Lerner and Lowe's My Fair Lady. Nor all   
the series I  
intimate (clue at) I am a poor otaku scraping together enough to get   
Trigun.  
  
  
  
i"I've grown accustomed to his face.   
The way he makes the day begin.   
Grown accustomed to the tune   
that he whistles night and noon.  
His sighs his woes.   
His highs his lows.   
A second nature to me now   
Like breathing out or breathing in-"i/   
"DAMU BRAS!"  
Dawn was too early to be a fruitcake, in Zelgadis's humble   
opinion. All at once a blast hit the tree Xellos was serenading   
Zelgadis from, and caused it to topple over with Xellos in it.   
Zelgadis rolled over and stretched. Zelgadis woke up and saw Amelia  
returning back from her morning jog. And no one else in sight.   
Obviously Xellos had left.  
"Ha. Good morning Zel-chan." the levitating mazouka   
addressed him.  
Zelgadis regarded him with a cold eye and muttered, "I knew   
that wouldn't work."  
"I need some true musical appreciation. Amelia-sama. What   
do you think of my singing?" He glomped her and rested his head on   
her shoulder.  
"Your voice is wonderful. It echoes and reverberates with   
the resonance of Justice. Xellos-chan."  
Xellos grinned and pointed at himself "I have a royal   
recommendation. See Zelgadis."  
Lina stretched and put on her cape. "Man what a great night.   
Under the stars."  
Lina hummed, "After that haul last night I slept like a dead   
log."  
Gourry yawned "Yeah you might have slept. I feel like I was   
sleeping on an anthill. With ants crawling on it."  
"Really. You don't say." Xellos feigned interest "What do   
you think it was?"  
"It must have been Ants." Gourry said.  
"I'm in a good mood. Let's get moving into the next   
village." Lina said waking up.  
"Where are we going Lina-kun?" Amelia asked.  
"That's obvious. We're headed for the next village to get   
some food."  
"But after that? I'm a princess. I need to get back to my   
Daddy."  
"Well. There has to be something."  
"It looks like were are coming up towards a sign."  
"Pelonia. Home of the Pelonian Pickled Peppers Fair."  
"Pelonia. But that sounds familiar. Something magical."   
Lina said.  
"Home of Magical Wonders?" Gourry read on the sign.  
"Yeah but I think my Grandfather told me about it. Yes. This   
is where you can find the worlds greatest seeress. If anyone can   
tell us our future it is her."  
"Oooh. You mean the Lady of Moon." Xellos smiled.  
"Yes. The Mystic Moon."  
"Yes she was amazing. She used her strange cards as runes to   
read the future. She saved her world. There was no greater seer in   
my generation."  
"Well that's great." Lina said "We can find our future out   
from her."  
"Yes well she WAS."  
"What do you mean was?"   
*****  
They arrived in the tiny village of Pelonia.  
A little girl ran up to them.  
"Welcome to Pelonia. Have some piscus. I made them myself."  
"Wow I was kind of hungry. Thank You!" Amelia smiled.  
"Amelia I'd."  
She grabbed a piece of the rind and her face turned pink   
then blue.  
"Ouch. Hahahahahahah HOoooooooT."  
"The world famous Pelonian piscus pepper" Lina "The Dragon   
Pepper, The Devil Rind." Lina sniffed another pepper and put it in   
her mouth "I just love hot peppers. They got a real kick to them."  
The townsfolk gasped and applauded as Lina ate the pepper.  
"Say young lady you might be interested in the Miss Red Hot   
Chili Pepper Contest."  
Lina cooed, "Really well I do think I am cute. It's so sweet   
of you too-"  
"Just think, when you're grown up you can join with all those   
pretty girls up there."  
Lina turned bright blue and glared at the man.  
Amelia stared at the bustling villagers puting up the banner.  
"Oh boy. Look at the stands. Ooh Magic amulets." Amelia   
tugged on his arm.  
The chimera smiled softly.  
"It's going to be a lot of fun." Amelia laughed.  
"It does. It looks like it will. They have it so easy here."   
Zelgadis said.  
"Bunch of silly fools." Lina said. "You should feel sorry   
for them. Stagnate in one place, while we get to travel the whole   
world. Well Gourry Let's go get some piscus."  
"Piscus?" Gourry said. "I hate piscus. It's so spicy and   
sour."  
"What's a matter, chicken?" Lina said. " We might as well   
kick back while we're looking for her. My Grandpa says this Lady of   
the Moon is 98% percent accurate. Guaranteed. I want to know what   
treasures I'll find , what adventures I'll experience and  
everything."  
"That seems like a frivolous thing." Zelgadis shook his head.  
"You can find out if you'll change back into a human,   
Zelgadis-san." Amelia said.  
"The only reason Lina wants to go is to find out what boys   
she's going to end up with. It's pointless.."  
Amelia scratched her chin. Maybe she could find out if maybe   
one day Zelgadis would be hers. She giggled.  
"That stuff is too spicy, Lina-san. You could get a belly   
ache." Gourry ripped away the jar.  
"You are so careful." Lina yanked them back "Don't be a   
baby. Be a man."  
"I'm a man. A man who doesn't like spicy peppers."  
Lina and Gourry began scuffling.  
*****  
The party was well underway. All the girls in the village   
were excited to see two new cute sorcerers and the dashing blond   
swordsman at the party and lavished attention upon Xellos and Gourry.   
Lina was turning three shades of pink trying to attribute her   
jealousy to the hot peppers. Amelia had completely vanished for   
once, looking for a glass of milk to quell the heat in her  
mouth and soon was prostrate in the praise of the milk boy saying how   
Justice filled he was. The chimera was glad at the lapse in her   
pursuit. Maybe Amelia would get some and leave him alone. He   
proceeded to leave the crowd when.  
"Well Hello, there." A nasal whiny voice came from chili   
pepper red hair and large boobs. A gorgeous and frightening nightmare   
vision of sequins and ribbons "You're a sorcerer aren't you."  
Zelgadis froze at the annoying frequency of her voice..  
"I'm Candy. Candy Ercanti? Say it real fast."  
Zelgadis whimpered, and covered his face.  
"Can he or can't he." Zelgadis said.  
"It's a little joke?"  
Zelgadis tried to run.  
"Oh you're so shy. Tell me. Do I deserve to be Miss Red Hot   
Chili Pepper?" She tossed her blinding red curls.  
"Uh Yes."  
"Don't be so shy." She poked him "Oh Muscles. Your built   
like a rock" Candy groped him.  
Zelgadis panicked "Sleep." And the red head toppled onto him.  
He clawed his way out and hyperventilated as he ran.  
Xellos smirked and followed him as he tried to hide again,   
literally disappearing with none of the villagers noticing.  
*****  
Zelgadis sat down by the fountain. He barely made it out   
without being unmasked. What would the "woman" say if she knew?   
She'd probably just continue  
being the type who didn't look to picky.  
It was times like this that hurt Zelgadis worse, knowing that   
he was so close to having a normal life. But whenever someone   
discovered the real him they ran away. Unless they were irritating..  
What made it worse was all the couples were smooching and tasting   
each others peppers  
in obscene ways looking for a bit of privacy. Zelgadis was lonely.   
He went to look for  
any place he could be actually alone.  
He came to a small clearing in the willows, a small heart-  
shaped place. Of course it had to be heart shaped to gouge the point   
into his chest even deeper. The heart shapped willow grove lead out   
into a small pond. The willow leaves fell like curtains providing a   
perfect lovers' hideaway. In the willows he noticed two wood pigeons   
flutter. They approached each other hesitantly. He smiled. Soon   
the two similar birds flew off together, brown wings fluttering with   
knew fervor. They landed on the top of the tree.  
Of course Zelgadis being transfixed with the birds didn't   
notice the elderly couple getting to second base under the tree. One   
was a white winged tenshi and the other a woman with short grey hair.  
"They looked up. "Oh my Star's Van, put on your cloak. It's   
a peeping tom."  
"What?"  
Zelgadis froze and covered his face.  
"You stupid perv." The Tenshi-kun bristled it's white wings.  
'I wasn't-"  
"Van. Calm down." the woman gasped. "You've been like this   
since we were kids."  
"That's because you are so beautiful Hitomi."  
"I'll leave you two-"  
"You don't go no where you voyeur you."  
"Voyeur? I was-"  
"Oh you just like to see people express their love." The old   
buzzard fluttered his wings.  
"Are you crazy? Old man you're- you're like 400." Zelgadis   
shrugged.  
"Oh so now she's not good enough to stare at." the old man   
poked him.  
"Don't put words in my mouth." Zelgadis deflected his finger.  
"Oooh you hellion. When I find your Pa I'm gonna-"  
"Can I please go and rip out my eyes, sir?" Zelgadis   
whimpered.  
"Why you punk!" The guy punched him. and hurt his hand.  
"Oh Pookie -sama." The short haired woman glomped him  
"My hand." He whimpered. "How will I grip my sword, Hihi-  
chan?"  
"I'll kiss it and make it all better."  
They went at it again.  
Zelgadis stumbled over his own feet to escape. He pushed   
aside the leaves. He sat down and grumbled. This was a low point.   
He was spying on elderly couples and not  
even realizing it.  
He sat looking at the serene still pond, feeling as empty as   
lifeless as the space ahead of him. Xellos appeared in front of   
him. "So Where's Candy? You two were hitting it off so well. A   
chimera in love."  
"Shuddup. I need a drink. There is an old couple...."  
Xellos clutched his forehead. "That Van boy you'd think that   
he'd learn his lesson by now. They've only been together for 70   
years."  
"They are lucky to be so... active." Zelgadis said. "I   
almost feel jealous of that shriveled old man."  
Xellos took a step to the side away from Zelgadis, "How so?"  
"I wish I were at the end of my days. If I can't have   
anyone, I might as well..."  
"Oh." Xellos nodded, "You have me. Do you think I'd ever let   
you die?"  
"Yes."  
"Oh come on. You are my favorite person. My best friend,   
off the record. I just keep telling Xellas-sama that I think of you   
as my pet to throw her off track. I'd do anything to help ya Zel-  
chan."  
"How about you stop calling me that?" Zelgadis poked Xellos   
in the forehead.  
"I mean someone who doesn't irritate me." Zelgadis said.  
"That's how you know someone loves you. They never stop   
irritating you."  
Zelgadis sat on the log of a fallen oak. The one just built   
for two.   
"So only people like you get love me. How do I know you   
aren't just being annoying?"  
"You don't. I can't love you I'm a mazouka."   
"I am alone. There is no one of my kind. There is no one   
who can know me. There is no one who will love me."  
Xellos felt the despair stab him too. He smiled. He did   
like it when Zelgadis fedhim. It was a good breakfast.  
"I would rather die than know I had this body forever."  
The flavor of his pain shifted becoming to sweet to bear.   
Xellos shook his head. He hated when it got the level of suicidal.   
He liked Zelgadis too much to waste him. Mortals were no fun to play   
with if you didn't take care of them. Most monsters couldn't  
grasp that concept, preferring destruction in any form. Xellos was a   
bit of connoisseur. That level of misery, anger, frustration and that   
inexplicable aftertaste Zelgadis left with  
him, could not be snuffed out.  
"You've got to get a little perspective kiddo. We are   
different. I am different. So? You can't live wishing to die."  
"How can I not when I hate myself?"  
"Hmm. That is an interesting question. The bigger one   
being, why you do you hate yourself? Is it because your ugly and   
heavy... Because of blue skin, or those deep eyes." Xellos brushed   
his nose. "There are a thousand trillion variations of life in this  
universe. More than you can dream? Would you think that skin and   
eyes could ever change what is beautiful? That your strength, grace   
and power doesn't comprise your heart and soul. That you think that   
your greatness can mean nothing to anyone."  
Zelgadis became angry again, but he did not speak. Xellos   
liked that.  
"Zelgadis you are different. You are cursed with power and   
strength. Like a lily in a bouquet of long stem carnations. A pearl   
in a pile of stones. An onion roll on a tray of bagels."  
Zelgadis stared at him.  
"I'm sorry I like Barbara Streisand." Xellos said, "I was   
watching Funny Girl last night and-"  
"What?"  
"Never mind. Just enjoy the view." Xellos sat. Zelgadis   
brooded, facing the crystal pond. Xellos only watched his companion   
finding nothing more interesting than him. Oh Zelgadis could he ever   
realize how perfect he was. He was a pretty fool. And  
those blue eyes nearly too black, speared the mazouka like a baby   
seal or one of those rare species of whales writhing in agony on the   
end of a harpoon. How could he not realize his perfection? Xellos   
watched his chest take in air, and his eye lids flutter. He  
could watch the blood beat into his lips and his face. Everything   
still and perfect in the beauty of the sun and water.  
"I've got it." Xellos said. The he grabbed Zelgadis.   
Probing him with a sultry look.  
Zelgadis stared right at him, suddenly much too aware of what   
the mazouka next to him wanted. Xellos touched his shoulder. Their   
eyes met and the chimera spoke.   
"Are you kiss me and make me feel desirable?"  
"You are desirable Zelgadis.'  
"ANd you're going to make love to me."  
"We're going to have sex anyway."  
"And You hope I'll forget you are a masochistic psycho demon   
who wants to drive me in the depths of insanity to feed off my own   
despair?"  
"No." Xellos twisted his brow, forgetting to take his arm   
down. "Damn how did  
you get so smart?"  
Zelgadis gave the arm such a cold look the mazouka shook it   
off like it had blasted it with liquid nitrogen.   
"You don't count, Xellos. You are evil and twisted. If you   
desired me like that, it would only prove how evil and disgusting   
both of us were."  
"So sex would just make you feel worse about your self   
image?" Xellos tilted his head.  
"Yes." Zelgadis pouted.   
In a shadowy swoop of black magic, Xellos pinned him to the   
log, "I've never wanted you more in my life." Xellos purred and   
descended with a brutal kiss, causing the old log to crack in half.   
Of course the second he made contact with his lips, he chipped  
his tooth and bruised his nose. "Ow."  
"Serves you right." Zelgadis said.  
At this the innocent country sweethearts who had wandered   
into the grove froze at the sight.  
"What's a matter? You never see a chimera and a mazouka   
making savage love underneath a willow tree?"  
"Yeah. A few trees down you'd be even worse off."  
"Uh." The boy froze."  
Zelgadis growled "Go away. The log is broken."  
"Yeah take a picture it will last longer." Xellos said.  
The boy froze. the girl pulled on his arm "Let's get out of   
here before they kill us."  
The boy was dragged off `Booboo they broke our log."  
Zelgadis smirked sat up and brushed himself off.  
"Did I hurt you?"  
"Of course you did, silly boy."  
"Your tooth feel better now?"  
"Yes a little."  
"Good. DON'T KISS ME!" Zelgadis punched him and he went   
sailing butt first into a tree.  
Xellos pulled himself up "A challenge. Hmmm. On to plan 2."  
"Plan two. What does that involve? Dynamiting yourself."  
"You don't like to be you? You think you are ugly and   
repulsive and no one likes you and you'll be alone for the rest of   
your life and..."  
"Yes." Zelgadis cut him off.  
"Don't be you then. Let me be you."  
"Excuse me?"  
Xellos smiled his dark smile.  
"Give me your body and all your problems will be solved."  
Zelgadis backed up slowly towards the pond.  
"Xellos. Don't-"  
Zelgadis knew it was too late. Whatever the mazouka planned,   
he was too far away to stop him. Xellos let the violet fire of his   
eyes penetrate his. He trembled.  
"Ra-"  
"No you must be silent for this. You can't talk." He grabbed   
his hand.  
"There is only one way this is going to work." Xellos huffed   
hot air on his face, "How long can I watch without wanting? I've   
watched you closer than any. You're every move is irresistible to   
me. I want your body so bad. I can feel myself crawl out of my  
skin."  
He could feel demon heat pour out of his purple eyes. "Hold   
my hand and tell me what you feel, Zel-chan"  
Zelgadis blinked twice and turned to run.  
Xellos smiled. Did this creature know him better than   
anyone? He licked his lips. He would have his prize soon enough.  
Zelgadis plunged into the deep bush. Where Xellos could not   
travel without damaging himself? He was glad he could not feel the   
pricks and needles of the underbrush.  
Xellos purred. "You're very good at making me want you."   
Xellos smiled, a bramble cutting into his cheek. Xellos smiled at the   
twinge of his own pain.  
"Monobolt." Oh crap.  
Zelgadis burst from the ground in a burst of magic and   
panic. Zooming into the sky he was panting, not out of his effort   
but of his dread. He was feeling the panic flush  
his skin from marble to lava.. He certainly knew how to make a   
fellow desired. But no-  
he couldn't catch him or something. Zelgadis couldn't think about   
that.  
Xellos poised on the air and watched his prey flee. He could   
taste his fear. He lifted into the air and floated towards the boy.  
"I want your body Zelgadis."  
"You are a crazy out of your head fruitcake mazouka.":  
"And I want your body. I'll have it. In exchange you'll   
have everything you want."  
"Stop."  
Xellos saw a pond ahead it would be perfect for a splash   
down. Xellos knew it was time for the hunt to end. Zelgadis did   
too, like all prey. It knew when it was caught.  
Xellos grabbed Zelgadis's ankle and pulled him close "Tell me   
again, Zelgadis."  
Zelgadis was breathing fire, he rested his head against the   
mazouka. "I-" The chimera's breath hurt. He couldn't say what he   
should have. His lips were burning. His mind burned away from normal   
thought.  
"I guess we're going down on each other." Xellos gripped the   
chimera around his waist and sunk to the earth. At the loss of   
weightlessness Zelgadis felt his stomach rise into his heart and his   
heart in his lips. And his lips swollen with the kiss on his lips.   
Falling from life into death. He felt everything except bad. The   
fear, the hunger. He kissed Xellos back clawing his fingers into his   
skin. The slight touch of statue fingers was bruising the mazouka's   
skin. Pain, sweet last full pain. He bit his mouth deeper.  
And then no more air.  
Zelgadis passed out.  
*****  
Lina looked back in the square.  
"What was that?"  
"It sounded like a gold dragon passing. Or a bomb our   
something."  
They saw the house. A tall woman exited. The sign over her   
head was of a blue globe that looked very strange.  
"This is the place my Grandfather told me about." Lina said.  
A frail old woman with short hair swept her doorstop.  
"Are you the fortune teller?"  
The woman's green eyes glazed over.  
"Blood! Death! Destruction!" She gripped her short hair. "The   
end of the world is here."  
Gourry scratched his head looked at Lina "Wow. She's good.   
She knew you were coming."  
Ahead of them was another group of young people.  
"I don't tell the future. Destiny is Free Will."  
"But Ma'am we came all this way. My village is willing to   
pay you more-"  
"No. Go away."  
"You can not imagine the pain I have seen. Every time I tell   
the future the visions become stronger and more terrible."  
"What do you mean you don't tell the future?" Lina went super   
deformed.  
"Xellos was right." Gourry said.  
Lina's lower lip quivered "But my Grandfather told me about   
you. He said something Remember the Destiny Wars and the White   
Dragon."  
The old woman froze "Wait a second."  
"You are the grandchild of Dryden Fassa."  
"Yeah." Lina said. "That's him."  
"I can't believe it. After all these years I thought the   
Destiny was forgotten...What's your name?"  
`I am the Extraordinary Lina Inverse, Bandit Killer-"  
"Dragon Spooker." Gourry said.  
"Me and my friends have come all this way."  
"Do you know how many girls and boys come to me asking for   
their future? You can only make your own future." she said.  
"But we don't know where to begin. I come all this way and   
nothing to show for it."  
"Tell Dryden, Hitomi said hi."  
"But there must be some way Ma'am." Gourry said.  
At this a grizzled old bearded man came in the room.  
"Hihi-chan. Who are these?"  
"More people who want their fortune read. I'll get rid of   
them."  
"You should have seen this woman in the old days. Those   
cards are amazing little deedly bobs."  
The old man grabbed his taller wife.  
"Eww don't kiss me you've been eating peppers."  
The man kissed her. She made a face.  
"Hah. I love the Pepper Festival. Every year I come. Piscus   
Peppers are just about my favorite thing in the world."  
"We know."  
"Well off to the competition."  
The old man walked off whistling an old tune.  
"I hate Piscus." the seeress shook her head "And We come   
here every year, so he can make a fool of himself."  
"Why don't you tell your husband you don't want to go?"  
"He still thinks he's champion. He might not be swift with a   
sword anymore but he thinks he has to prove he can eat any one under   
the table."  
"I propose a challenge." Lina said.  
"I'm not listening." The Seeress turned around.  
"How about an eating contest?" Lina said  
"I don't like to eat." The Seeress responded.  
"I will challenge you husband to a contest of Pelonian Piscus   
Peppers."  
"But those are impossible to eat." Gourry gasped.  
"And if we win the contest."  
The seeress's green eyes lit up "If you beat the old goat,   
then Vanny would never eat Piscus Peppers again. That would be   
wonderful."  
"When I beat him."  
"But that's impossible. He's won this contest for thirty   
years."  
`Well I can eat any pepper he can. I'll beat him."  
"If you do that, I would take out my cards again and tell you   
your future." Hitomi said.  
"Do we have a deal?" Lina asked.  
"By the Blood of the White Dragon I agree."  
Lina shook her hand she smiled to herself i"I'll know my   
future in no time. I wonder what my husband will look like. I   
wonder how many children I'll have. I wonder if I'll be the most   
powerful sorcerer on Earth. It'll be a snap."/I  
*****  
Zelgadis woke up very wet. Very very wet. He hadn't felt   
that wet in... forever. Every inch of his skin was soaked or seemed   
that way. He could feel his skin goose pimple at the wind. He had   
to get out of these wet... gloves?  
Underneath his... skin. He gasped. He could see the wet   
flesh with little bumps on it. He touched his face. He touched his   
hair. It was wet. Really wet, not just rusty.   
He had skin. Real skin, prickling shivering flesh. Had   
Xellos finally... Well what did he do?  
"Ne Zel-chan. You look cold? I'm cold too. Why don't you   
take off your clothes and dry off? I know I am."  
A bluish elfin creature said from the cover of woods.   
Zelgadis couldn't see so well. Where was that crazy Fruitcake   
Mazouka? To go through that with him, whatever it was- and just   
leave him alone.  
The voice was soft and beautiful, but he was surprised at the   
quality of sweetness. He could trust that voice.  
  
"His smiles his frown   
his ups his downs,   
a second nature to me now   
Like breathing out and breathing in.  
I was content before I met him,   
happy as can be  
surely everything can that way again  
but I've accustomed to the trace  
of something in the air  
Accustomed to his face."  
  
Zelgadis recognized the song. It was Xellos's song. Could this   
pixie know it too? What was going on?   
Light strange hair and two blue eyes glared at him.  
A cute blue little mouth smirked back at him "Zelgadis, you   
never told me you could sing. Shame on you. We could have done   
duets."   
Zelgadis had about four feet and a convenient oak leaf to   
prevent him from having a mental break down.  
Zelgadis looked at himself naked smoking and sitting about   
ten feet away lounging completely bareass naked in the forest.  
"I'm naked." Zelgadis muttered.  
Zelgadis's body stared at him confused. "No, not exactly.   
Guess again."  
"Am I dead? Is this an astral out of body experience?"  
"Zelgadis. It is too cloudy for the dramatics." The chimera   
in front of him smoked his cigarettes again. He flicked the ashes   
towards him.  
"Dramatics. You fucking try to-"  
"Ooh excellent diction."  
"And then it's like... I'm human but I'm not. And then I'm   
naked... but I'M not and-"  
The ashes formed a Louis the Fourteenth mirror.  
"I thought would be sunnier when we tried this so you could   
just look in the pond and boom. But well, It never works out, Zellos   
does it."  
"What is going on why are you calling me-"  
Zelgadis looked in the mirror.  
"Oh my God."  
A wet Xellos with broad open eyes looked back at him.   
Xellos tittered with Zelgadis's face. Zelgadis couldn't   
believe this. He was-  
"I'm flattered." Xellos bumped himself, his old body, out   
of the mirror and spun, clad in blue briefs. "You aren't so bad   
yourself, kiddo? Love the new digs"  
Xellos hugged him.  
"I'm you?" Zelgadis clutched his purple hair.  
"No, you are you. I am me. But I'm being the you that you   
don't want to be."  
"But I don't want to be you. I want to be me."  
"You told me that you hated being you. So I'm being you so   
don't have to be and the price of that is being me."  
"I- me-you." Zelgadis was dizzy. What was going on?  
Zelgadis looked at the blue skinned chimera smiling smugly at   
him. He lunged on the chimera, "I'm going to kill you."  
"Calm down." Xellos in Zelgadis's body or maybe Xelgadis or   
whoever.... He tried to ease his friend's mad confusion. Zelgadis   
grabbed his stony old and throttled the chimera next to him  
"I wouldn't do that I if I were you ." Xellos croaked.  
"You are me." Zelgadis punched Xellos. He smacked him on the   
head. He heard a crunch.  
"OWWWWWW." Zelgadis winced. He was do longer a chimera. And   
his hand struck the stone.  
The chimera smiled and stepped away from the mirror.  
"Are we all done now? Can I explain to you what happened?"  
"I know what happened. You-- we- um." Zelgadis covered his   
new body.  
"Oh let me try Zel-chan. You having a perverted mind thought   
I wanted to have mad passionate sex with you even though you said no   
and we were interuptted. And then you ran off like a scared rabbit.   
Honestly. You're mind is so deep in the gutter Zellos."  
"You said you wanted my body..."  
The chimera's body spun around in front "You see." Xellos   
smiled. "I did want your body. For me."  
"Why didn't you just tell me that?"  
"It was fun. And I'm a Mazouka. I had to do it this way.   
It was irresistible."  
Zelgadis shivered.  
"Was it good for you Zellos-kun?"  
"But I don't want..."  
"Let me explain this. It may not be your destiny to be human   
for a thousand years. Hmm? You want to have a human body. Well   
since your human body is tainted by the golem curse. I got you a new   
one. Young, healthy, beautiful violet eyes. Gorgeous hair, pouty   
lips and a high cute little butt. It's not made of marble but it can  
crack clams."  
"But I want to be me."  
"Huh? You said you hated your life. You said you didn't   
want to be a chimera. You're not a chimera."  
He grabbed Xellos. "I am a mazouka now."  
The stony face began trembling then bursting out in raucous   
laughter.  
"You? A mazouka? You're not a mazouka." Xellos pushed him   
away "Stand back."  
All of a sudden from the chimera body a tall wolf/spider   
monster began to form. Zelgadis jumped back. Xellos returned to his   
chimera form.  
"You're talking that old husk. Don't make me puke with   
laughter." Xellos grinned. He lifted up Zelgadis's arms. I got that   
at a very desperate beautiful young man trying to drown himself.   
He's currently a giant man eating crow. Unless he's died."  
"It won't work. You're immortal. I'm only made of rock. I   
mean I'll live a long time but not forever."  
"His body was mortal. I just used magic to keep it young and   
beautiful. It's mint condition." Xellos pinched his cheek.  
"I think you people call it a soul. You believe that there   
is something more than the body. Not even a Goblin can confuse the   
soul for the body."  
"So this is a mortal body?"  
"More mortal than yours." Xellos smiled stroking his stones   
on his new arm. "I don't deflect sword blows. I just survive them.   
Look on your stomach."  
Zelgadis looked confused "You want me to look at your body?   
No."  
"Oh come on."  
"I'm not getting undressed for you, you Fruitcake" Zelgadis's   
eyes flashed with anger.  
"There is nothing there I haven't seen or touched."  
Zelgadis's now peach skin turned bright red.  
"There is a scar on your right breast from the battle with   
Phribrizzio."  
"Okay. I'll take your word for it."  
"If you wanted to you could even go mortal. The whole works   
grow old, let your butt sag and get crows feet. If you wanted."  
"It is a mortal body."  
"Basically yes." Xellos smiled. "It's everything you want   
Zellos."  
"What did you call me?"  
"Well Xellos. I think it's perfect. My body but your in   
charge."  
"That makes you, Xelgadis? No one will be able to tell we've   
changed."  
"Now we got to go over the rules? There is only one. Since   
we did this in secret, we must never tell anyone. The second the   
word escape our lips and it is heard we will change back."  
"That's stupid. An auditory locking mechanism."  
"What about everyone who wants to kill you?"  
"I could ask you the same thing." Xelgadis smiled. "The   
Mazouka and non-mortals know the difference. maybe even the   
dragons. I wonder if Firia would tell. It's very strange."  
Zellos took a long look at himself  
"All we have to do is either be so obviously out of character   
they guess or try to hide it. Now I'm in favor of plan 2a. I'll go   
get thrown out of a whorehouse and you brood and drink coffee and   
have unresolved sexual tension with Amelia."  
Zellos shook his head. "If we act strange they'll want to   
know what's going on."  
"Zellos. You really think that they would care if you acted   
strangely. They wouldn't just take it for granted you were a   
horrible monster and cast you out." Xelgadis covered his mouth in   
fake shock. "You mean they actually care about you?"  
"I just don't want you embarrassing me." Zellos grumbled.  
"This will be fun. I've always enjoyed acting."   
Zellos bit his lip.  
*****  
Zellos stood in Xellos's clothes dried out as Xellos or   
rather Xelgadis handed him his accouterment. "Now here is your   
staff, "You'll have to carry it for me into the next  
town. But I need it back, it's my power. Be careful. I don't want-"  
"I'm not going to break your staff." Zellos said. "Here's my   
sword."  
"I've never had a sword before. It's so cool. I feel like a   
hero. A knight in shining armour." Xelgadis held up the sword.  
"Don't use it."  
"Nah. I won't break it. I just never learned how to sword   
fight before."  
"If you use mine I use yours." He rattled the staff.  
"Well I have your blue underwear."  
"What? You can't have my... undies."  
"Undies. oh you are cute. Look as long as I'm Zelgadis, I   
have his sword, his cape, his tight wities"  
"Well I have your underwear then hah!"  
Xelgadis laughed. "Well you would if"  
Zellos covered his mouth "You don't..." Zellos blushed. "You   
are a pervert."  
"I'm a pervert in your underwear." Xelgadis wiggled his rump.  
"Grrr." Zellos frowned.  
'We could always pretend we had mad passionate sex that   
brought you out of your shell." Xelgadis hugged him again. Zellos   
removed his hand. "That's why Xellos has Zel-chan's undies." He   
laughed at the word undies.  
"I'll get them back." Zellos pointed in his face "One day."  
"Zelgadis-san. Xellos-chan." Amelia shouted.  
"Oi Xellos." Gourry shouted.  
"What are you two morons doing out here? We've been looking   
for you everywhere."  
"Show time."  
Zellos took a deep breath.  
But it was Xelgadis that acted first "Flare Arrow."  
Zellos ducked.  
"Oh god they are at it again." Lina grumbled.  
"Why do they hate each other so much?' Amelia frowned "Xellos   
is not the evil heartless fiend everyone makes him out to be."  
"How would we know? He never tells us anything." Lina   
said "Sore wa himitsu desu." She raspberried. "Weirdo."  
"He has justice in his heart. If only Zelgadis-san would see   
that." Amelia said.  
"Zelgadis has his head so far up his-"  
"I have had it with you you you you you...." Xelgadis turned   
beat red "Fruitcake."  
Zellos stared at his old face scrunch up in hatred, he   
couldn't help but laughing "Oh excellent diction." Was he always so   
incoherent?  
Xelgadis gritted his teeth "Flare-"  
"Zelgagis what's going on?" Gourry asked. he looked at   
Xelgadis. He looked over to Zellos for a second then shook his head.  
"These two guys are trying to kill each other again." Lina   
scoffed.  
"Why can't you two just get along?"  
Zellos looked at Xelgadis "That's what I told him I said. We   
should be friends."  
"You didn't say that. You just ki-" Xelgadis looked straight   
at the others, then Amelia.  
"Never mind. Just don't talk to me. Don't look at me.   
Don't even think about me."  
Xelgadis flung his cape and began walking.  
Lina darted her eyes furtively "Zelgadis we're going that way.  
Xelgadis spun around in the right direction.  
Zellos applauded.  
A bolt of electricity hit the purple haired mazouka.  
*****  
And so they walked back to the village.  
"The Seer said she would do it. But we had to win the   
Pickled Piscus Pepper contest. If we win then she'll read us her   
tarot cards."  
"And if we don't?" Xelgadis asked.  
"All that indigestion for nothing."  
"Do we have to do this, Lina?" Gourry frowned "I hate spicy   
food."  
"We've got to know our future." Lina said.  
"Well then we had better get back in time." Zelgadis   
said. "I'd never want to miss an opportunity to watch Lina stuff her   
face." The chimera rolled his eyes. "Let's hurry up and get there."  
Gourry walked up next to Lina. "Lina I got a bad feeling   
their is something wrong with Xellos? He's acting all mooney around   
Xelgadis? And I don't know. They aren't themselves."  
"They were ripping each other to shreds, arguing over   
senseless trivialities. Same old same old. Why?"  
"They acted really weird it wasn't what they said. It was   
how they said it. or I don't know." Gourry bit his lip.  
Then all of a sudden Lina remembered  
"You didn't say that. You just ki- never mind."  
'You're right. Zelgadis was acting weird. It almost sounded   
as if they ... kissed or something."  
"They've always really liked each other underneath."  
"You mean Zel and Xel." Lina froze.  
Gourry only nodded.  
Lina lost her ability to stand on her own power.  
"Ouch my brain broke."  
Gourry tried to help her up "That would explain it. If they   
had -"  
"No." she yanked her head away  
"It would explain why I felt all that tension between them."  
"No."  
Lina you are so-"  
"No they didn't!"  
Gourry furrowed up his brow, "But Lina I thought you said   
that you thought."  
"NO!" Lina howled like a panther and panted.  
"Okay."  
"It would kill Amelia." Lina clutched her heart.  
"Maybe we're wrong."  
"No it makes perfect sense. The fighting the anger, the   
fury, the passion, the fire of their love burning like a thousand   
suns" she fanned herself up. "I need a drink of  
water." She squirted her canteen on herself.  
"Are you going to be okay?" Gourry helped Lina up.  
"Oh, Poor Amelia. Her boyfriend fell for a maz-"  
"What are you two talking about?" Amelia peered over Lina's   
shoulder   
"Ah Um. Amelia?" Gourry stammered.  
"Where are Zelgadis-san and Xellos-chan? They must have   
wandered off again."  
Lina covered her mouth and began crying. "They probably just   
wandered off the path. He's not going to abandon. He doesn't hate   
you." Lina hugged her friend He's just confused by these passions   
and emotion." She squeezed Amelia "Don't worry Zelgadis still loves   
you." She collapsed crying into Amelia's arms.  
"How many insanity spice peppers did she eat?" Amelia   
whispered to Gourry.   
"I'm going up ahead. You go find them."  
Amelia sped ahead "Zelgadis-san, Xel-chan."  
"We've got to find them." Lina said. "Before Amelia. It's   
sooooo sad."  
"What's sad? It's time Xellos settled down with another nice   
monster and Zel is a chimera too. He's probably very lonely if he   
hangs out with the likes of us. It's good that they found someone."  
"But always thought Amelia and Zelgadis would get together   
one day." Lina said "It would have been cute."  
"Ah. But Zelgadis probably would jump out a window. Amelia   
is a real spitfire."  
"We have to know for sure." Lina grabbed his face.  
"It's none of our..."  
'Just don't blow my cover. We'll get them to tell us."  
*****  
Zellos looked at Xelgadis. "How come your so good at being   
me?"  
"Careful observation. Like I said I was obsessed by you."   
Xelgadis dusted off his  
shoulder.  
"You are a better me than I am. Am I really that... you   
know?" Zellos tugged on his arm.  
"Full of yourself? Over reactionary, uptight?" Xelgadis   
offered.  
"I was going to say short."  
"Ah there you guys are!" Lina grinned and waved her arms like   
an idiot.  
"Lina take down your hand." Gourry said. She uncovered her   
eyes.  
"You two keep running off together dick as thieves, I mean   
queers of feather, I mean..."  
"You'd think that you were going off to smooch or something."   
Gourry said he winked at Lina. She smacked him  
"Gourry!!!"  
"Sorry. You want to know, Don't you Lina?" Gourry rubbed his   
bruise on his  
face.  
"Well not like that." Lina said.  
" Why don't we leave them alone to smooch and stuff, Lina?"  
"Shutup? Okay?"  
Zellos whimpered.and began to bristle. He was going to open   
his big fat mouth when from outside his body.  
"What are you talking about? I would never ever even think   
of doing anything remotely like that with this namagomi fruitcake."  
Xelgadis turned bright red and blushed.  
Zellos shocked. He didn't know a mazouka could blush. Then   
he realized what he must do.  
"Oh well if you did, wouldn't I be the best choice?" He   
smiled at Xellos. It came out his mouth before he could guard it.,   
followed by two kissie lips.  
Xelgadis twitched his wrists "Ra-"  
"Chill out you two. I don't want to know what this is   
about." Lina said.  
"But Lina you said-" Gourry pointed.  
"Shutup? Okay  
"It's none of your business." Xelgadis crossed his arms.   
Zellos stared at him. He was just baiting the red head. She would   
guess sooner or later that they were really lovers.  
Zellos tried to think. What would be the Fruitcake do, what   
would be the most offensive and horrible.  
"That's right. You have no right meddling in our affairs.   
Literally. On the other hand I could give you pointers."  
Xellos saw Lina begin to sizzle. Yes that was a Xellos   
Fruitcake move.  
Amelia gasped "Oh my."  
Gourry grabbed Lina by the cape as Lina began to float with   
rage.  
It was like being in the Fruitcake's body had taken over his   
mouth.  
Xelgadis began to open his mouth "Damu Bras."  
Zellos bumped out of the way, into Amelia.  
"You anti-justice monster." Amelia said coughing. "Amelia   
I'm-  
A mazouka wouldn't apologize.  
"I hate that Mazouka." Xelgadis said gritting his fangs and   
pounding his fists.  
The others backed off and quickly sped ahead.  
This was going to be a strange and interesting trip Zellos   
thought.  
On the path back to the village, Lina and Gourry whispered to   
each other  
"I knew something was wrong. I knew it."  
"You didn't even think that they liked each other." Gourry   
said.  
"We can't tell Amelia."  
"Tell Amelia what?" The princess insisted.  
"AMELIA!" Lina squeaked "I- I- I- have to go to the inn and   
pay our bill."   
Amelia looked at Zelgadis. Oh something had to be wrong with   
him. And Lina offering to pay for dinner. The way he was whispering   
to Xellos.  
"Gourry-san. Do you think that- I?" Amelia tried to face the   
swordsman but he kept turning his back. "Gourry san! Pay attention."  
"What is it Amelia?"  
"Well you... Why do you think that Xellos and Zelgadis are   
sweethearts. I mean I never saw anything, but they are so weird."  
"I don't know. They just have a lot of passion. Like I   
don't think you could make Zelgadis that angry. And Xellos is always   
hanging around him." Gourry said.  
"Oh." Amelia nodded sympathetically. She could never imagine   
it being said aloud. But here was Gourry, telling her what she had   
always feared.  
Gourry shrugged "I don't think Zelgadis would try to hurt   
you. Lina says I shouldn't say anything. She's usually right."  
"Say what?"  
"Um About Xellos and Zelgadis kissing in the woods."  
"They were kissing in the woods?" Amelia gasped.  
"No."  
"Yes, they were kissing. Why didn't you tell me?" Amelia  
"Well um. I didn't see them."  
"Gourry." She clasped the swordsman, "If you are a warrior of   
justice you cannot lie to me. What do you think?"  
"I think. I think it would be great if they had a sausage on   
a stick and fried and  
ketchup, I think that whatever is going on between Zelgadis and   
Xellos is between them.   
I think that love is beautiful and knows no reason. I think I should   
shut up before Lina comes over here and bashes me over the head."  
"Of course." Amelia said, letting the boy leave.  
"Lina-san don't hit me.. but..." Gourry ran to Lina and his   
voice trailed off.  
Of course. If she could fall in love with Zelgadis-sama, why   
would the Justice Deprived Mazouka be moved by the same passion. He   
was so skilled so powerful. And pretty. Oh. She had a rival. But   
if she remained pure in her body and heart and kept to  
justice surely she would win. She was the heroine after all. No   
temptation could sway her beloved Zelgadis from the path of Justice.   
He was probably just Bi-curious. She enjoyed a guy who was open-  
minded. Open minded promiscuity was a great character of  
justice.  
She would not relent. She would love him 75 times more. And   
let the Mazouka weave his web of lust and depravity. To engage and   
fulfill Zelgadis's carnal desires. Amelia knew that he loved her.   
Even if the chimera didn't.  
*****  
"How did you learn to be me so well?" Xelgadis muttered.   
"I just said anything that came into my head."  
"You see why I teleport now. Don't you?"  
"They think everything is normal now." Zellos said.  
"This was easy." Xelgadis said.  
  
Just then Amelia came up to the two.  
"So you fiend Mazouka. You want to corrupt Zelgadis with   
your twisted passion."  
Zellos looked up."Uhoh."  
"Now you will face the power of Love and Justice."  
"Oh boy." Xelgadis said.  
  
TBC  
  



	2. Scenes by Water

Part II: Scenes by the Water  
  
Amelia came thundering down the road up to the Mazouka's chest. Or what she thought was the mazouka.  
"Mazouka. You may not have him. You will not lead him to evil."  
"Who?" Xelgadis asked. "Oh yeah, you think that- Well this is awkward."  
"Amelia. What?"  
"Xellos, I above all others have supported you. I have defended your honor when Lina and Zelgadis would have left you."  
"Yeah you're a real peach." Xelgadis said wistfully from behind her. "That's why he doesn't blast into a greasy smudge for all your nauseating and bitter justice speeches."  
"Zelgadis-san please." Amelia shushed him.   
"But you cannot seek to corrupt the heart of my-- " she shook her head "My friend with your evil heart."  
Zellos was utterly dumbfounded unable to articulate anything in his mind except a desperate cry "When?"  
"You love Zelgadis." Amelia frowned.  
"Huh?" Zellos twisted his brow "But I'm- Oh yeah..." Zellos laughed.  
"See like said awkward" Xelgadis whispered to Zellos shook his head.  
"But you cannot love with a heart of justice. You are a demon and know only lust and carnality."  
"Hey at least he follows his strengths." Xelgadis says. Xelgadis muttered under his breath "What a preposterous thought. What does that little guttersnipe know...  
"I care about Zelgadis and if you ever separate us-"  
Zellos covered his mouth. He could feel flesh so it had to be a dream "You want Zelgadis don't you? "  
The girl blushed.  
Zellos shook his head in disbelief, "He's a chimera. He's a monster just like I am. You would want him anyway?"  
Xelgadis looked at him, smirking before Amelia could see.  
"I seek only to save him from evil. From you. If you tried to corrupt Lina or anyone I still would defy you."  
Xelgadis lowered his eyes "What a little coward she can be." He muttered.  
Zellos tightened his eyes "Say what you mean. Don't mess around. Do you realize how lonely and desperate he is? How he has dreamed some girl would come along and show him what love was? To love him for what he was? He dreamed of this everyday. So you are messing around with something very dangerous."  
"I will not speak to the likes of you. Stay away from Zelgadis." Amelia said.  
"Amelia, do you love him?"  
Amelia turned around and walked away. "I need to be alone. I'll see you back at the inn, Zelgadis. Stay away from Xellos." She walked on.  
Zellos tried to run after her, looking for some answer. The only answer the one that would last forever. He wanted Amelia to say, I love you. For anyone to say it and have it in their heart.   
He was about to touch her arm when in front of his path Xelgadis materialized.  
"Oh that must be nasty." Xelgadis shook his head tsking " I had no idea that she could be so cruel. And the worst of it she doesn't even realize it. Come on Zel-chan. Time for bed." Xelgadis said. He patted Zellos on the back.   
Zellos didn't move, he was crouched in pain like someone had punched him. Xelgadis touched his soft hair.  
"Amelia she... no no. But I'm... She loved me."  
"Hmmm. She didn't say it." Xelgadis said.  
"I was so wrapped in my own skin I couldn't see it. Now she doesn't. She loves you." Zellos grabbed the chimazouka  
Xelgadis grinned "That's pretty neat."  
"Oh my god. She's annoying too. Am I so pathetic that I can only attract the most annoying people in the universe? But she doesn't love me. I'm Zellos. I'm Zellos. I'm Zellos."  
Zellos curled on the ground. Xelgadis paused.  
"Zellos. Read my lips. She never said she loved Zelgadis. This is just... stop being so silly." Xelgadis turned around sharply.  
"Amelia was the- Oh god, my life, it's over."  
Xelgadis sat down and crossed his legs."  
"Sleep." Xelgadis touched him "Because if you sleep, won't the pain go away? It will be better if you are asleep, right? Then you'll feel nothing...." Xelgadis guarded his words carefully. He couldn't say that. He couldn't say what he waned. But Zellos was there looking so hurt, not hurt damaged "And it won't hurt." Xelgadis had said it. But still Zellos wasn't listening  
"You don't want it too hurt. It doesn't have to hurt, be cause your not cursed, not anymore Zel-chan. You are free. And I'm just messing with you. So you'll sleep and not hurt anymore." Xelgadis was sure he had lost his mind by now. He wanted to stop hurting a mortal. No he wanted to stop hurting Zel. But it was worse. He didn't want anything to hurt Zel. He was on the edge.  
"I don't understand." Zellos held onto him. The boy's thoughts becoming more desperate and stranger. Painful but bad.  
Zellos touched Xelgadis "Why would she do all those things if..." Could it be she loved him? Loved Zelgadis the chimera? He shook his head. Xellos had said so. The old Zelgadis couldn't even stand to look at his own body. Now he had a human body. Was it his soul cursed to bring such misery?  
He looked at his soft hands and soft flesh. White skin. He never thought he would see hands. But these weren't even his. He had wondered how his body would have changed if he had grown like a normal man. Xellos looked like him when he was mortal except for the gorgeous violet hair. He should be glad his body was handsome, and like when used to be human.  
Xellos, Amelia, even strangers were attracted to Xellos in his old body, and still repelled by this mazouka form. Even if it was a human body.  
He traded his hated body to become the most reviled and powerful mazouka on Earth. He didn't even have that power or did he? Maybe the magic was just an illusion. What if he had sold his last ounce of humanity for this body and it didn't matter.  
Zellos sighed. But I'm human? Is my soul tainted by this curse? Am I only pretending the curse is gone?   
Xelgadis teleported him in his room. He laid him on the bed. For a second Zellos missed the strength to pitch Xellos around. To the regular eye it looked as if Xellos wouldn't even fit in his arms. But in reality chimeras were very strong.  
"You say you are not a mazouka, but you like to feel this pain. Even though it really does hurt you." Xelgadis brushed his neck, softly touching soft hair. "That is more human than I have ever seen."   
Xelgadis tucked him into the blankets, "If you do not go to sleep all this pain will damage you, Zel. Turn off your pain, even for a few hours."  
"You realize Amelia will probably never say she loves me." Zellos said.  
"So what else is new?" Xelgadis smirked.  
Zellos laughed "Fruitcake."   
Xelgadis looked around hestitantly as if he thought the world would end if he was seen, sat on the bed and brushed back his hair "Does that feel good, Zel... for you?"  
"Yes."  
"That wasn't so bad." Xelgadis smiled. "See I can do this kind of stuff."  
Zellos smiled, "Thank you."  
"I think I better leave before I make you feel better and embarrass myself on your carpet." Xelgadis stood up. "I don't want you feeling better. It makes me queasy to see you too happy."  
***  
The second day of the Chili Pepper Festival was going off full tilt by the time Zellos woke up. No one had come to get him for breakfast. Xelgadis on the other hand was dragged out of bed by Amelia. Zellos plastered on the fake grin and wandered down stairs.  
"I wonder if they missed me at all." Zellos thought. "No one ever really checks up on him like Amelia or Lina checked on me. No wonder he spends all his time hounding us. We'd never give him a second glance if he didn't."  
Amelia was a good friend. Having her hate him for no reason was maddening. But she couldn't know what they had done. He must try to trick her, no matter how much it hurt him.  
They all walked out into the square together. Gourry was the first to wander off. It wasn't long before Zellos was gone as well. So with two girls at his side Xelgadis wandered through the fair.  
"Hey Zelgadis. Look it's Candy." Lina elbowed him in the ribs.  
"I'm not interested." Xelgadis tossed his head, "Amelia, pretend to be my jealous violent sorceress girlfriend."  
"Pretend?" Lina snorted.  
"Your girlfriend. Oh ZELGADIS... I- I- Oh Zelgadis..."  
Xelgadis looked at her and rolled his eyes "Lina would you be my jealous violent sorceress girlfriend."  
"With pleasure, snookies." The sorceress looked at Candy and grabbed unto him like a side of ham.  
"More drool. less cross eyed. That face is ridiculous."  
"I'm not making a face."  
Near the pottery stands, Zellos looked at the pretty red head, Candy. She had liked him even when he was a chimera. If he was a real human he would be able to attract her. She was awfully pretty.  
Something in Zellos changed slightly. Well if he was a lecherous and evil mazouka why not pretend and get something. Why not? Zellos straightened his violet hair and walked towards her.  
"Hi. My name is Zellos Metallium. I could help but notice you were all alone." "Hi." The girl looked at her manicure. "What going down?"  
She wasn't even looking at him "Well it's just I don't think that a girl as pretty as you should be alone." He leaned towards her grinning mischievously.  
"Hey you're Zelgadis's friend." The red head covered her chest.  
"I was wondering if you would care to-" Zellos grabbed her hand and tried to kiss it salaciously.  
"I really liked your little chimera friend. You know all that marble blue skin. It must be so hard going around with such a babe magnet and not get jealous of all those girls."  
Zellos tried to touch her shoulder "Say maybe I could-"  
She stared wide eyed. "Oh dear."  
"What is it, Candy?"  
She stepped back "How did you know my name? Did Zelgadis-"  
"Yes I asked him, because he-"  
"Now I didn't mean to send you the wrong message. I'm not interested. I'm sorry but I really don't want to ruin it with your friend Xelgadis. But thank you."  
Zellos felt his heart sink.  
"But I do have a friend."  
A dark haired boy knocked her out of the way and placed his hand right on Zellos's shoulder "Who is your cute friend Candy?" He winked.  
"What?" Xellos shrunk back at the flirtatious boy "Go away!"  
"Well Zelgadis said you were a Fruitcake. I over heard you two talking."  
"Xelgadis!" the purple haired mazouka grumbled. "I'm not ... It's that fruitcake. Oooh he's trying to make me look, oooh. When I get my hands on that fruitcake" Zellos muttered and sparks flew from his fingers.  
"Oh yeah keep dreamin honey. That chimera is as straight they come." the boy said "Real fine looking fella."  
"Durn right." Zellos said he walked away from the too.  
Candy shook her head "Man that guy is a complete fruitcake."  
***  
Lina slapped Xelgadis's butt. She glared at Candy  
"I think it's working." Lina said. "She's flirting with Xellos.  
"Lina-kun you don't need to touch my butt." Xelgadis giggled uncomfortably.  
"Are you sure I think my character would-"  
Xelgadis smiled cheerily. "Get your hand off my ass, sweet heart or I'll blast you." He let out a soft chuckle. Lina hugged him  
"You're in such a good mood lately. I think it must be all the mountain air." Lina said, but she thought "Or maybe it's Xellos. They are both so weird, it has to be true. But it can't be Amelia loves him."  
"Miss Inverse?" A man in a black robe with a bushy moustache called out softly "The Opening Ceremony for the Pepper Eating Contest is starting. Places Challengers."  
A burly troll like farmer snapped his lapels. "Everyone dropped out when they saw my boy Petey come on stage."   
"Ooh Xelgadis. I gotta go." Lina  
"Lina don't leave me. That red haired Candy-cow will.-"  
"Just tell her your gay with Xellos. He's always around."  
The chimera almost smirked for a second. But Lina ignored it as she walked to the stage.  
The Judge's white moustache bristled and twitched while his eyes and mouth were nearly hidden "Challenger 1, Peter "the Dragon" Piscataway  
The townies shouted. As a lump on the hoizon moved Standing at 7 feet, he looked down at Lina. "Did you lose your mommy little girl?" The 'man' had the visage of a jungle pig with four tusks  
"I thought this contest was for human beings not warthogs."  
"Hai there you messing with my Momma."  
A wart pig squealed in the audience.  
"You can't-"  
"We are a peaceful village. If a warthog man wants to join in the contest, there are no rules to prevent him from doing so."  
The ground shook with Pete's laughter.  
The old man straightened his armor and walked up the stairs.   
"And the returning Champion, His Majesty King Van of Fanelia-"  
"Hi There Hihi-chan. Hello Pelonia."  
"And that's--" the judge looked at the card.  
"I'm here too me me me." Lina waved her arms.  
"And the challenger 3. Rina Unifers."  
"That's Inverse. Lina Inverse L-I-N-A then I-N-VER-SE."  
Amelia grabbed the microphone away "The Infamous sorceress Bandit Killer, Slayer of Monsters, Friend to Seiryun and Dragon Spooker, Lina Inverse."  
The crowd laughed.  
The judge grabbed the phone away "The pepper eating contest will begin at 4 o clock, tomorrow morning.":  
From the crowd a man shouted "You mean in the afternoon."  
The judge was beat red at all the interruptions "When the winner will be named Hot Pepper King."   
"Or queen..." Lina grabbed the microphone away.  
"Yeah right." Petey laughed. "Yer bouts as tiny full as a bug."   
"Quite right, Young lady." The old man said, "This is a serious eating contest."  
Lina put her foot on the chair in a macho pose. "Therr isn't an eating contest on Earth I can't win. I once sailed 400 miles in a driving rainstorm to get Dragon Cuisine. I once paralyzed a man for stealing my mutton. I once killed a man just to take his taco."  
Amelia gasped "When did that happen? I don't remember that."  
"I can eat anything, any place and anyone you dare me too." Lina stood up "I am Lina Inverse. Sorceress, Woman and Glutton."  
"You can't use your fancy spells here. This is an eatin contest." Petey said   
The judge grabbed back the microphone "And as a supplement prize, The Lady of the Moon will cast her fortune for the winner."  
"Oooh." Petey snorted in excitement, "I can't wait to hear my fortune."  
"Hihi-chan. What are you doing? You said that you can't tell fortunes.""  
"And if you win Mr. Fanel, I suspect the smell will be so bad, I predict you are sleeping on the couch for a week." The Seeress waved her nose.  
Petey looked down at Lina "See ya tommorow Little Bug Girl." The wart man snorted.  
"If you wish to walk out with dignity no one would blame you Lina." Van brushed off his fingers   
"I'll meet your challenge Fanel." Lina said.  
***  
Zellos used this opportunity to sneak in a store and by some new underwear. They didn't have blue all they had was pink for ladies. How many people in the world went around without underwear? He sulked out of the store quietly hoping none of the others would see him Unfortunately his respite would not be short.  
"It's a flying monster. He's just floating there."  
"A chimera. I can't believe it  
Xelgadis was sleeping on top of the foutain levitating in mid air. The shocked villagers were buzzing and nervous about the chimera and if he breathed fire or ice. They were obviously magically illiterate  
"I say fire." the yokel said.  
"I say he has ice breath." The village idiot insisted.  
Zellos nearly dropped his bag and levitated next him pulling him down  
"Acts over folks we'll be here until Thursday." Zellos chuckled nervously.   
Xelgadis yanked Zellos to his side. The chimera rubbed his eyes "Hi Zellos. I was taking a nap. I'm so drowsy."  
"You need some coffee?"  
"I don't drink coffee." Xellos said "It's not good for you."  
"My body needs the caffeine. I always have coffee in the morning and Orange Pekoe at lunch."  
"I can't drink coffee. It makes my seratonin go all funky. There was a mazouka who killed himself by taking Extra Strength Tylenol. He took three instead of two and his brain caved in then exploded. You shouldn't drink so much caffeine. No wonder you are grumpy."  
Xelgadis saw Candy and smiled, and glomped onto Zellos in fear.  
"There you are. Smoopy. Your protecting me until Lina gets off stage. Let's hold hands."  
Zellos shoved him "Don't touch me."  
"Candy is after me. Pretend to be my jealous evil mazouka boyfriend who likes to bite."  
"Surprise surprise. You want her to be jealous." Zellos said.  
"A fella's got to eat. Even if he is chimera."  
"What kind of crazy girl falls for a chimera or a mazouka? I'm still cursed. Even if I change body no one can bear my presence. My soul is dirty, tainted. Who says I'm human at all anymore."  
Xelgadis jabbed him in the shoulder.  
"Ouch. Stop it."  
"If you were mazouka you'd want me to do it again. If you were a chimera you wouldn't feel it."  
"I can't be human inside." Zellos said.  
"You know you still look very beautiful and familiar. But you do taste the same." Xelgadis purred with his strange light voice.  
"Stop it or I'm asking Candy for a three-way."  
Xelgadis purred. "You naughty thing."   
Zellos turned away. No use giving the mazouka/chimera more things to think about."  
"You know it's fun to pretend like I'm you. Thinking that all the pleasure is wrong. But I never really went after something I didn't desire."  
"Desire is-"  
"Desire is the worst kind and suffering there is. Attaining it, denying it, all leads to misery and death. I embrace it. You deny it. And none of us our better for it."  
Xelgadis brushed his stony knubs against the small of his back.  
"You like that. And don't say you don't." Xelgadis whispered in his ear. "  
Zellos peeled his arms off.  
"I'm leaving. Get some coffee and-" He smiled "From the bottom of my heart I hope feel much better." Zellos glared at him smiling a bitter grin.  
"Now that is horrible thing to say. If I feel any better you might find me in the bathroom. Do you know how hard it is for mazouka on festival days? Good food family community togetherness. If it weren't for your discomfort I don't think I'd be here at all. Well maybe Lina, but you are much tastier than Lina."  
"Then go bother her."  
"Just remember my offer. The one inch no one can scratch the same itch better than someone who felt the same one."  
Zellos only offered a look of disgust. So Xelgadis went to look for coffee.  
Zellos couldn't believe how aggravated and strange he felt. He sat on the fountain as long as it took before the cool water helped him... compose himself.  
***  
  
At the inn he couldn't wait to shower. He took off his wet clothes. And tossed the towel on his body.  
he couldn't help looking at his legs, but quickly looked up. His thoughts swirled, "This is so perverted. I don't want to know what he looks like. But he is me. I'm going to wash my hair, and not look down." By the time he noticed the scar from the battle with Phribrizzio, it was too late.   
The naughty mazouka thoughts in him kept jabbing his brain. This was his body now. It wasn't wrong to look at himself. Besides he couldn't spend the rest of this trip only washing his hair. He had to shower sometime.  
He peeked under the towel wrapped around him and coughed.  
"What in the Samakin Hill?" It was not supposed to be that color. "My hair is not that color. And my eyebrows are black Guess the drapes don't match the carpeting."  
"Zelbobis-kun. Where are you?"  
Zellos stood up straight and covered himself. He prayed he didn't say that too loud. Couldn't he ever say his name right? He crossed his legs trying to forget that strange vivid color.  
"Gourry."  
"Xellos I was looking for Zeldogis We were going to go and hot tub."  
"Oh yeah."  
"Don't you worry Xellos-kun I would never take him away from. This is just a guys night out. Lina would kill me if I separated Zelgadis from his one true love. She scares me."  
"Women."  
Zellos admitted he did Miss the "Schvitz and Bitch" or the old SB. Gourry had more emotional problems with Lina than people gave him credit for. Like for example He was attracted to her and not as the result of recent head trauma and she liked him. And the fact she was Lina Inverse also didn't help. Not to mention his problems with Lina. Everybody he knew was insane.  
"Well he probably has better... Why don't I join you?"  
"Do you have hotspring on Wolf Pack Island?"  
"Sure Sure."  
"I wish Zeldodidas was here to go hot tubbing. It's so much fun with him around. I can tell him anything without him really bejesus smacking me."  
Xelgadis appeared out of thin air with a little rubber ducky, shower cap with the scrub brush in his teeth like a dog.  
"Hellooo Mr Gabriev!" He spat out the scrub brush. "Time for your ten oclock hot tub appointment."  
"Zelgatti. How did you get here so fast?"  
"Oh a little trick I learned from Zellos. He's teaching me special magic."  
"Xel-CHAN, shut up." Zellos gritted.  
"Don't call me Xel-chan, mazouka fwuity woot cake" He tweaked his nose and pinched his cheeks. Real believable  
Xelgadis clapped his arm around Gourry, "Well, come on. Let's have some hetero man fun. I'll scrub your back."  
"But I already washed off in the shower."  
Xelgadis's chimera fangs glimmered with drool as he obscenely swatted his wrist with the scrub brush . "Momma say a CLEAN boy is a happy boy."  
Zellos fell on his face and grabbed the chimera.  
"Zel-kun. You got a fever?" Gourry checked his temperature on his forehead.  
"Why don't you just see how hot I am first?" Xelgadis twitched his nose at the swordsman.  
Zellos pulled himself from off the ground.  
"Xel-lo-di da da. what are you doing?"  
"You are no fun."  
"You are acting weird ... because of a fever or your drunk or something."  
"Gourry I'll take care of Zellos you go ahead. get in the hot spring. Go go go."  
Zellos caught his breath sucking in as much air as he could so he would split his own ear drums. "What are you doing?"  
"I am going to hot tub with the sexy blond. I don't know what planet you are on. But I'm on the Planet Hot Times. Shuttles Departing on the Half Hour."  
"This is Gourry. Gourry Bleu Gabriev. You are going to seduce Gourry."  
"I was just planning on spanking and leering. But Seducing? Are you sure you aren't a mazouka?" he punched Zellos in the arm. "That would be the more insidious thing to do while I'm in here." he made a bicep. "I am Xelgadis Greywers."  
"BUT-"  
"Right it is too easy. Like candy from a blond bishounen baby. Oooh How about I get him to cause trouble with his scary sword? I bet if you stroke it it gets bigger."  
Zellos stood in front of the chimera, "I'm not letting you do it."  
"Join us then. I'm sure you wouldn't mind sharing."  
"I've got to keep you away from him. Or Lina will kill us both."  
Xelgadis smiled "If you really didn't like it, if it didn't fire some passion inside you to see him like that..." Xelgadis whispered in his ear "...don't you think I would know."  
Zellos realized in flesh it was harder to ignore some things in this body. Including the full body blush.   
"You enjoy the view. His legs and his muscles. You think it's everything you are not and will never be. You like his pale flesh and-"  
"Okay so what? It's a thing that happens. So I get a little hard watching him... So?"  
"I'd like to see how long you'd hold out in flesh. You have massive reserve of patience. I don't and never have. Not even as a chimera.."  
"Don't think so high of yourself."  
"And don't think you can deny your desire for too long. It denies your very nature."  
"I'm not myself anymore anyway. Why should I let your freaky perversions corrupt me?"  
"Guess the fruitcake doesn't only come out at Christmas." Xelgadis blinked.  
Now the stupid mazouka woud flirt with the blond on purpose, just to annoy him. He quickly tried to join them.  
Xelgadis was practically sitting on Gourry's lap.  
"So I was wondering how long does your sword get. Can I see?"  
"Oh you are so-" Gourry laughed and blushed.  
Zellos slapped himself mentally. Goury was responding.  
"I learned my lesson it makes the handle get all rusty." He nodded.  
"I really wanted to see it." Xelgadis tried to get even closer.  
"Hey look wine." Zellos intercepted Xelgadis's advances.  
"Hmm. I think you're trying to get me drunk, Gourry." Xelgadis said.  
"I hope we get real drunk." Gourry laughed.  
"You know I'm a cheap drunk." Xelgadis slapped him saucily.   
"Ouch." Gourry stared "You drink more then anyone I've ever seen in my life. I saw you and monkey polish off a bottle of Zefildian Gin. You're almost as bad as Syphiel and Naga that one time."  
Zellos gasped "Syphiel drinks?"  
"Oh well let's see." Xelgadis said  
Zellos took a sip and coughed and his face turned red. Xelgadis sipped then gulped.   
"Whoa slow down little man. This is Sandorian Merlot." he patted Xellos on the back. "I like Sandorian Merlot. It's my favorite." Zellos frowned and tried to breath again.  
"Why don't you lay off the-"  
Zellos drank more. He held up his glass. Apparently Sandorian Merlot wasn't Xellos's favorite. for obvious reasons  
***  
Zellos tried to sit up. His normal metabolism let him drink way more than a normal human. Not to mention Xellos's low body weight body was a cheap three goblet drunk.  
"Wow I've never seen a monster drink that much."  
"Oh he's just faking it. Monsters love to get drunk. The Depressants in alcohol does wonders to supress the production of pleasure inducing chemicals."  
Zellos muttered incoherently.  
"A mazouka would love to be drunk, right?"  
"Oh yeah. I'm fine Gourry."  
"Poor Zellos. Someone should put him to bed."  
"Xelgadis. because I don't you alone with Gourry, you are a stinky." Zellos pointed at the chimera mazouka.  
"Wow he I think he tipsy." Gourry said.  
"I think he's smashed. Yes Mazouka are like that. They can't appreciate the joys in life. Simple unavoidable pleasures." Xelgadis craned his head in towards Gourry's chest.  
"Oh he's not so bad just a little pink.  
"Gourry... " Zellos fells asleep.  
"I thank the gods I am not a mazouka and just a chimera. Even thought it is a lonely life. Being a chimera. No one to love."  
"Awww. Really. Man." Gourry frowned The concerned friend patted him on the shoulder "Well I hope you know I'm your friend."  
"Of course you Gourry. Stainless perfect valiabnt Gourry. Your heart as pure as diamond, big as the moon and as warm as fire."  
"Oh thank Zel. You're really neat too. The way really cool and you're made of rock. Even though I can't say your name." Gourry blushed a little.  
Xelgadis felt the fire of passion beat under his stone skin. To his face. Gourry's blue eyes sparkled with the strange low light of the baths like stars in a fog.  
"In fact Gourry. I don't understand mazouka at all. They aren't like us." Xelgadis smiled.  
"Yeah. But he's-"  
Xelgadis grabbed his large soft hand. Warmer than the water. Such warm hands.  
"In fact it may be the wine talking now but... Xelgadis edged closer.  
"What? You're my best friend Zel. You can tell me. Don't be afraid."  
Xelgadis looked into his sapphire eyes open and innocent.  
"I think there is one too many people in this hottub."   
That caused Gourry to blink. Twice. "Oh."  
Xelgadis touched his face.  
"Oh Oh. Oh my I see." Gourry smiled  
"You do?" Xelgadis sat back.  
Gourry laughed a light sweet giggle "I know exactly what you want me to do."  
"Yes Gourry you-"  
"Don't be shy. I'm not blind."  
"Oh Gourry." Xelgadis tipped back his head seductively.  
The blond made his move.  
"Bye Bye Zelbongas. You have fun." Gourry giggled. He winked at Zellos.  
"What?" Xelgadis garbled under the water. Xelgadis sunk under neath the water. The statuesque blond pulled his muscular body out of the hotspring. Xelgadis gritted his teeth and hoped that Shabrindingo was watching as he tried not pass out from lust. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his well sculpted perfect thigh and abs like Dinner plates. He pranced off giggling like a school girl.  
"Oh there better be a Ciephied up there. If I am good for no reason-" Xelgadis muttered.  
Drunken Zellos pulled him up from underneath the pool.  
"I never thought I'd see the day." the chimazouka shook his head in disbelief.   
"I told you to leave Gourry alone. Now you are rejected." the drunken Zellos put his hand in Xelgadis's face.  
Xelgadis crossed his arms "He is just too stupid to be seduced."  
"It doesn't matter to me. I can wait. There are more gullible people out there." he looked at Zellos "He Zellos. WHy don't I take you back to my room?"  
"I feel fine. I'm in a good moved. I am. I want to stay up and be alone.."  
"Come on Zel-chan. You could always say you were drunk."  
Zellos looked glassy eyed at the chimera and tocuhed his lips.  
"I've got soft lips. They aren't stone."  
"No they aren't." Xelgadis said. Zellos looked again. "The hair is just so sharp."  
"Thanks."  
Zellos smiled for no reason before he kissed Xelgadis.  
***  
Gourry was walking down the hall whistling "Love is a many splendor'd thing."  
Amelia was waling from the bathroom ready to curl into her bed, nice and cozy and quiet.  
"What a long day?"  
"Yes but what a beautiful night. Romance is nice."  
"Romance. Gourry you heartbreaker" Amelia perked up "Romance is the endeavor of the just heart. Who's the lucky girl?"  
"Oh it's not me Amelia. I'm just matchmaking."  
"Oh who? Do I know them?'  
Gourry was about to tell her the wonderful news until over his shoulder the phantom superdeformed head of Lina Inverse.  
"You Baka! Amelia loves Zelgadis. She'll be sad when she finds out that Zelgadis loves Xellos."  
Gourry turned around. "Lina what are you doing up there?"  
"Don't mind me. I'm just a figment of your imagination."  
Gourry furrowed his bor "Figs are a kind of fruit. Oh you are made of fruit?"  
"No mental lightweight I'm in your mind."  
"No wonder you are small Fruit Lina. How do you fit inside my head? Are you inflatable?"  
"Listen buddy. Amelia thinks you are talking to yourself. I may only be a symbollic manifestation of memory and consciousness but I can bite your ears."  
Amelia stared where Gourry was staring.  
"You're talking to yourself, Gourry-san."  
"Wow the Fig Lina is right. Even smarter than regular Lina."  
"See just don't tell her."  
"I won't say a thing about Xellos and Zelgadis."  
Amelia dropped her arms and her eyes filled with fire. "What?"  
"Um Nothing. Oh good job you Figgy Dumb thing. Now she knows."  
The apparition sweatdropped "Quick run away and hide under the bed where she can't get you."  
"Good thinking Fig Lina."  
They ran into the room and hid under the bed.  
"She'll-"  
"What are you doing in my room?" Lina said.  
"Oh hey Lina number one. This is The Fig Lina. We're hiding from Amelia."  
"Under my bed?"  
"We gotta keep the secret. About Zelgadis. He likes Xellos."  
"What?"  
"Xel and Zel are out there in the hot tub." Gourry said.  
"What you left them alone in a hottub? How could you?"  
Gourry shrunk his pupils "Did you want me to stay? I'm not that kind of boy." He twisted his lips.  
Lina sweatdropped. "Xellos and Zelgadis are making out in the hotspring?"  
Amelia gasped.  
The Figment pointed at Lina "She said it not me. I'm out." and the head vanished.  
Amelia pulled back her feet and walked backward rather than risk turning around and wasting time. A yellow cloud of fire collected around her body like a cocoon of flame and some static electricity.  
The guardian of the spring stood up as the flaming sparking Amelia strolled backwards into the gentleman's bathing area.  
"Hey girlie. This is the mens spring. No visitors."  
"I must stop him."  
Xellos was waiting. Drunk as a skunk on shore leave.  
"What did you do to him?" Amelia said softly and a steel knew to her voice rasped light as a breeze, enflamed by her passion.  
Zellos looked up.   
Amelia grabbed the mazouka and shoo "WHAT... DID... YOU... DO?"  
At this exact vibration the mazouka couldn't contain his stomach from-  
Amelia took a step back and grabbed an extra towel.  
Xellos wiped off his mouth "That and then he said um good night."  
"You drunken reprobrate." Amelia threw the towel at him.  
"That was my towel." Zellos said.  
Amelia stood over him.  
"I love Zelgadis. I would do anything to be with him. And if you stand in my way may Shabrindingo have mercy upon you. For the justice gods."  
"You do?"  
"Yes. I will not have you..."  
"But this isn't..." Xellos swam away.  
"I'm not done with you. You defiler of chimeras. You seducer. You cad. I'm not done."  
"I think I am. But you love him right?"  
"Yes."  
"Oh." Zellos looked at his hands. "Well that's nice. I guess that's okay." Zellos knew his brain was fogged. He couldn't. He didn't even care. She was here declaring her love for him. For Zelgadis, and he didn't have a single thing to say back to her. Zellos stood up wrapped the towel around his body. He looked in her sweet innocent face and those wide eyes. Looking for some response, and then it came.  
"I'm going to bed. I'm drunk."  
"You can't brush me off." Amelia placed her hand on his shoulder "I'm the one who loves him."  
"Look girl. I've heard this same thing for these years. Don't you think he could have guessed? Don't you think he'd want some girl with the courage to say 'I love you.' He dreamed of it every night. And it couldn't happen. Because he didn't know anymore about the world than she or love or anything besides his magic and his dream to be like he was." Zellos let the tears flow. "What is wrong with you, Amelia? Don't you know what it would have meant to him?"  
"I can't tell him that. It's not how it's supposed to be."  
"If things were how they were supposed to be he wouldn't even be him. He would be another boy another human. He wouldn't be a freak. So keep telling me and yourself that he is everything you desire, and he's your perfect knight. But until you can tell him and mean it. And until you can really love him you are just full of crap."  
"I love him. But I can't just tell him."  
"Of course you can't. You're just so wrapped up in this image of him you never cared." Zellos sat down "One 'I love you' could have saved him. That was all he wanted."  
Amelia turned away "I was shy. He's so great and powerful. The perfect man for me. There is no one more worthy of my-"  
She was a child. She didn't even realize that love bound both souls together. It was never the right guy. It was never a situation. It was a context, it was more than something that happened.  
"Can't you tell when a man isn't interested?"  
Amelia turned around hiding her tears from him, "I could ask you the same. You only pester him."  
"He is a boy in a ageless tomb for a body. He was too foolish to see the truth and will never stop kidding himself. His eyes are as sensless as rocks. His heart is as cold as stone."  
"How can you say that about Zelgadis?"  
"I know him very well." Zellos looked at his borrowed skin.  
"He has only been confused by you. I know his soul is pure and good."  
"Oh really?"  
"It is only the soul that matters his body means nothing to me. Such concerns are of weak people. His beauty is his valour, his strength, his introverted and intense charms. A mazouka cannot know the love like this."  
"Love of the soul?" Zellos looked straight at her. She was looking at the thing she said she loved. The real him in this new body. Everything he was, was there, in this form. Amelia had no idea. She did not know. She never knew. She could not love what she would never even try to understand.  
"Oh I see you love his soul."  
Amelia growled "Yes."  
"But only his soul?"  
"Of course."  
Zellos turned his back "That is where you are wrong." If she truly knew his soul wouldn't she be able to recognize him in this body.  
"You are a mazouka. You do not know what love is."  
Zellos looked in her eyes "Look into my eyes, Amelia."  
She let the mazouka grab her wrist. "What would you say if I said I love you?"  
"You don't love me. Your eyes are cold. Your eyes don't burn with love."  
"Huh? You are my perfect girl. You've been so nice to me. And your pretty and you are sweet if annoying. And we've been through the end of the world and we united kingdoms. Why wouldn't I love you?"  
"The heart does not work that way."  
"You don't like the way I look. I mean I'm not a chimera. Hmmm. I'm beautiful too right."  
Amelia hauled off and smacked him "You are not Zelgadis and only my love can love me."  
Zellos held his cheek.  
"I only love Zelgadis. Only him. He is the only-" she was losing her resolve, "I will never ever ever sleep with a mazouka. Never in a thousand years."  
Zellos leaned back in the water.  
"All right take him."  
Amelia was startled "Pardon?"  
"You have won your love with the justice in your heart." He saluted. He could barely see straight without telegraphing his joke. "A mazouka the likes of me can't compete with the power of Love. Go forth and declare your love for Xelgadis. I don't love you. I hope you are happy. And I really hope you leave me the hell alone."  
Amelia was stunned to silence. The wind blew across the pond. A tear formed in her eye and she babbled to stop that horrible feeling  
"I am sorry my Justice had to defeat you Mazouka. Buit Justice is Blind and so is love. Love and Justice sees not with the eyes but with the mind. So is winged Cupid is so painted blind"  
Amelia turned away.  
Zellos poured hot water on his cheek where she hit him. Zellos wondered what would have happened today if it had been the real Xellos there instead of him. He probably would have distintegrated the girl for slapping him. Love was a strange thing. He was glad to be out of it with Amelia.  
To think right now she was curled up in her bed fantasizing about one of the most evil mazouka on the planet, just because he looked like him, made him smile.  
Zellos had only begun to start laughing.   
***  
  
  
  
  



	3. Scenes by the Fire

Scenes by the Fire  
  
***  
In the morning (and morning did come for the tortured human turned chimera turned human in an old mazoku's body) the light seemed out to fry his brain and he began to wonder if he shouldn't wear a hat to protect his brain from the light. Perhaps it was some vicious photophobic vestige of being a monster. The Beast Master had found out that he was in Xellos's body and now sought to kill him from the inside out by melting this brain.  
But of course it wouldn't be that glamorous.  
"Wow, I love being a chimera. And to think I drank so much last night! I'm not even sleepy." Xelgadis smiled. "Almost as much as you."  
"What? I'm having your hangover. That is not fair."  
"Well you are having my black out. We have to get you some sunglasses."  
"Photophobia?"  
"What?"  
"Monsters are afraid of light. As creatures of darkness they must protect themselves."  
"Only after a bottle of Sandorian Merlot, tiger. You are not a mazoku. Get it in your head."  
Zellos sighed and put on the glasses.  
"Aren't you afraid you'll give everyone the wrong idea coming out of my room in the morning?" Immediately he thought about Amelia for some reason, something he said last night, but shook his head.  
"I want some ice cream. You now like Rocky road. So I want my staff back. Give it to me."  
"Your staff? You're busting in here at-"  
"2 o'clock in the afternoon. Now give me my staff. Come on." Xelgadis said.  
"Xel, we've only been pretending three days. Wouldn't it look suspicious if Xelgadis uses Zellos's magic staff to conjure an ice cream sundae?"  
"Ooh that's a great idea. Do you want a turtle sundae?" Xelgadis squealed.  
"What's a turtle sundae?"  
Xelgadis grabbed the staff from under the bed. He rattled the staff and conjured one. He licked the whipped cream off his finger. "You have excellent taste. Take a bite. Call it breakfast."  
Zellos looked closer and he realized the bowl was a turtle shell and little claws and eyeballs were mixed in with the caramel and chocolate.  
"Is Turtle Sundae supposed to be made out of a real turtle?"  
"Of course not." Xelgadis rolled his eyes. "It's not real anymore. It's dead."  
"Hmm." Zellos grimaced.  
"There aren't fresh turtles in Turtle sundaes. Just in mine. It'll help your headache."   
"Everyone knows the only cure for a hangover is the rare Vanilla Bean Collata Elixir, three aspirin and a cup of coffee."  
"Hmmm. It works?"  
"It's a Greywords Secret."  
"How about a vanilla milkshake?"  
Zellos was in no mood to debate hangover cures. He let the mazoku conjure him one.  
They sipped the cold drinks.  
"Hey guys, what are you doing?"  
They stared at each other.  
"I was just giving Xelgadis a bite of my Turtle Sundae," said Zellos, yanking the bowl away.  
Gourry scratched his head. "What's in it?"  
"Oh, a sea turtle. They are endangered. I was kind of hoping for one of those big ones with the ninja mask. You know, the rare Ninja Turtle." Zellos smiled  
Xelgadis spat out while Gourry handed the bowl back.  
"Ooh, ice cream..." Lina said wistfully. "I like ice cream."  
She frowned and walked away down the hall forlorn.  
"Well that was odd..."  
Lina thundered down the hall "Give me that ice cream! You stone faced freak!" Lina pounced on Xelgadis.  
Xelgadis shrieked like a little girl. "Who are you calling a freak?"  
"Gimme that ice cream!" Lina clawed his face.  
"Lina you can't eat anything before the contest." Gourry said. "Besides it has turtle bits in it. That's gross."  
"You must work beyond the hunger." Amelia said in a sage-like voice "To attain your goal you must ignore your stomach.  
"My stomach is going to win my this contest. I want to keep it happy. BALIS ROD!"  
The whip of light hit Xelgadis's hands and tried to pry the bowl out of his hands.  
Zellos began to laugh hysterically.  
"Zelgadis-san, whatever happens, don't let her get that bowl."  
"Whatever happens? Amelia, she'll kill me." Xelgadis said.  
Lina twisted the beam of light around the bowl and Xelgadis tugged.  
"You are mine, ice cream!" Lina cackled.  
"Don't give in Lina." Amelia wrapped her arms around the crazed sorceress. "Fight her Xelgadis."  
Gourry stood behind Xelgadis and pulled in the opposite direction.  
"I haven't eaten in 10 hours."  
"She's doing better than I thought." Amelia struggled to pull Lina's hands behind her back.  
"Ice cream. Need ice cream. Love ICE CREAM" The light whip spell poured out of her hands.  
Zellos stood next to Lina.  
"Vanilla milkshake Lina-kun?"  
Lina turned around and saw the milk shake. She dropped the Balis Rod and sent Gourry and Xelgadis flying through about ten walls with the force of ten Blast Waves.  
Lina purred and purred like a happy animal and began drinking her milk shake.  
Zellos smiled, looking at the destruction "Being me is a lot of fun."  
Xelgadis carried Gourry back into the room.  
"My spine," whimpered Gourry.  
"Oh I just fell on you. Don't be a baby. Can you wiggle your toes?" asked Xelgadis.  
Gourry complied.  
"See? Stop bitching."  
Amelia looked at Xellos. Oh, he was putting up such a good act. Obviously Zelgadis didn't know what they had talked about last night. Here he was same as ever. Causing trouble in his roughish, normal way.  
Another person like Lina, or someone smarter, would say Xellos had not changed. That he would use any opportunity to steal Zelgadis again. But Amelia knew. There was something in Xellos's eyes, though they were more than human and evil, something comparable to guilt, sorrow, tears. There was finality in his eyes. And Amelia, as a strong person, could never risk her heart to do the smart thing.   
Today would be a long day. Ever so long. Because she knew what the night would bring. When Lina had won, and she and Zelgadis were alone. The "perfect moment" could wait until the moon rose. Couldn't it?  
  
*****  
  
The whole town had arrived to watch the Pepper Eating Contest. They waited in noisy anticipation as the contestants got on stage. Lina tossed Gourry her cape and made two biceps "Check this action. I'm going for both cannons." She posed like a body builder. "Ho yeah. We're cooking with fire now. I'm hungry."  
At this Pete "the Dragon" walked on stage and dropped his cloak, thereby completely covering Lina in it.   
"FLARE ARROW!"  
The cloak went flaming in the air.  
"Why, you big pig!"  
"I be a man. And you won't be saying that when I win the contest and get The Lady of the Moon to tell my fortune."  
"I bet 80 percent of it is about never learning bodily hygiene." Lina held her nose.  
Farmer Piscataway shouted, "Show that girl, Petey!" Mrs. Piscataway oinked in support.  
And then between them, the crowd hushed. The champion didn't come from the stairs.  
From the sky a snow of white feathers fell on the audience. Amelia was the first to gasp.  
The crowd grabbed at the feather. The man began to float down, not even rippling his feathers. As if they were manifestations of will rather than flesh and feather.  
"It's a Very Old Man with Enormous Wings!" exclaimed Amelia.   
"You ain't just whistling Gabriel Garcia Marquez," said Xelgadis.  
"My husband is of a dead race. He is the last Draconian. In our youths, we courted each other in a time of great war. Our hearts have been inter-twined since."  
Amelia stared "How beautiful."  
The Seeress smacked her over the head. "Eyes to yourself, missy. That is my man."  
"Oh. Well, I know that an angel like him is out of reach." Amelia humoured the woman. "But I am in love with a man like no other."  
"The blond swordsman?" The Seeress elbowed her, "Growl. There is something about a man who wields steel. And the long blond hair... wow."  
"No not Gourry. But he is a sorcerer, swordsman, and warrior of justice."  
The Seeress held her hand. And concentrated.  
"Yes. I see him. Very pretty man. Slender body, powerful magic."  
"Yes. But..."  
"This is not future telling. I'm only seeing what is.... And such lovely hair."  
"Well I use special-"  
"Not you- him. I see purple. But I'm wrong? This is odd. I have no idea what I'm talking about." The Seeress said.  
"That is not my love. That is him." She pointed into the crowd. "An evil mazoku named Xellos."  
"Oh. Well like I said it wasn't future telling. I'm just a silly old fool."  
"It is alright." Amelia sighed. "The aged's wisdom should be considered. Even if it is crazy."  
"Like I said, Your Majesty, I was wrong. Forgive me. "The Seeress bowed to the princess.  
"How did you know I was a princess?"  
The old man landed on the stage.  
"I am here."  
"Gentlemen... and lLady. The rules are simple. Here are the peppers for you to eat. Who ever clears out the most peppers out of their pile wins. They have been hand picked and numbered. So that we will know who has eaten the most."  
The three pepper piles reached beyond the top of the clock tower.  
"That all?" Petey snorted a laugh "What do we get if we finish all of them?"  
The Judge straightened his glasses. "You eat the peppers in your opponents pile."  
"And those?" Lina said, she cast a defiant glance at Petey.  
"If you can eat all of these you will ascend to the level of a high demon lord. As the legend does dictate." The judge laughed and the audience joined him  
"I'd make a good Demon Lord." Petey straightened his coveralls.  
"I'm kidding of course. That was the ancient superstition which began our festival. Now we realize that it was just a superstition. But it does provide a bit of local color."   
"Come on Lina. You can do it." Amelia said waving a paper fan.  
"Yep." Xelgadis sipped his mochachino.  
Zellos looked at the drink in his hand.  
"What is that?" Zellos asked.  
"Mochachino. Want a sip? Lots of caffeine, right Zellos? Gives you a killer brain freeze."  
"I didn't know you liked ice cream so much, Zelgadis." Amelia said.  
"Well I can get my caffeine from other sources. I'm getting tired of burning my tongue." Xelgadis began to twist his face. He clutched his head, "Brain Freeze."  
The Judge looked at his watch. "When the bell tolls four times. The giant pepper will descend and the contest will begin. Those who drop out will be provided with milk  
Lina looked at the giant town clock tower. Boy she was hungry. Petey eyed his competition arrogantly. The old man merely stood.  
"It's never going to work. Have you seen 'The Dragon'? He could swallow me and eat the rest of you for seconds." Xelgadis injected his typical dour and cynical commentary.  
"We must have faith in our friend so that she can succeed," Amelia said.  
"I hope Lina doesn't kill herself on all these piscus peppers." Gourry bit his nails in worry, wrapping himself in Lina's cloak.  
  
The giant clock above ticked as the audience was stilled. The pepper fell right in front of Xelgadis, obstructing his view of the stage. The three stared in anticipation.  
"Time for me to win this contest and become the demon lord." Petey grabbed an armload of peppers.  
Lina stared at the monster "Aaaaah!" She clenched her fist and dove into the pile of peppers, steam and dust trailing behind her. She zipped so fast she vanished from the naked eye.  
The old man stretched and sat down and grabbed a pepper "Yum. Piscus." he ate it. "Ooh boy they are spicier than ever this yeah."  
Amelia jumped up and down "Look at Lina go!"  
"Oh she's just asking for a tummy ache." Gourry held his stomach, "This was a bad idea."  
"But with the size of Petey's hands and arms he can shovel them in at an alarming rate. Already Petey ate a pint of pickled piscus peppers." Xelgadis announced.  
"That's one gargantuan wart hog pelonian of fearful proportions."  
Izzy the milk boy gasped "Prodigious!"  
"Yes a piggish Pelonian of prodigious proportions."  
Lina was still shoveling the peppers in her mouth. Petey lifted another cartload of peppers into his mouth, shaking the cart in his mouth.  
"A whole cart full of peppers?" Gourry said.   
Xelgadis whispered "He's eating them like movie candy.  
Petey was sweating so much it collected in wooden well buckets. His parents spurred his gluttony with oinks and cheers.  
"This Pete 'the Dragon' is a demon." Zellos shook his head.  
"If he keeps this up he *will* become a demon lord," Xelgadis said amazed.  
Amelia shook her head "You don't believe that old legend. Xellos, you've been alive for four thousand years, that's not true, is it?"  
Zellos looked at Xelgadis. How could even Xelgadis have superior knowledge of Demon Lore than the ancient Mazoku? He would have to make it up before Amelia caught on.   
Zellos nodded. "Oh yes, it's been that way a thousand years before Xelgadis was born. So I was the only one alive when it happened-"  
Xelgadis held up two fingers on each hand.   
"Two thousand years?"  
Xelgadis shook his head.  
"Two hundred years ago? I mean Two thousand Two hundred?" Zellos shrugged.  
Petey filled up the hug horse trough with peppers and swallowed it and the peppers. In four gulps.  
"He's eating more then those beasts of Kaljin." Xelgadis said.  
"Oh yes I remember those. The fierce beast who, who, who-" Zellos said, playing along.   
Xelgadis "--tried to usurp The Ruby eyed ones power. By eating all of Pelonia's Pickled Peppers he would have enough fire power to melt the foundations of the Earth. Each Pepper holds a demon so if you eat it the demon goes free. They don't call them demon peppers for nothing. You eat enough of them they would " Xelgadis finished "Well that's what I read, in the book, Ancient Spicy Pepper Curses by Eipi Freeli."  
"He was a disgusting creature and bad at cribbage." Zellos agreed.  
"But it could have been the pickles. There were rumors that the pickles could have the same power. The his ape beast minions were killed by homemade pelonian pickled grapes. Not the peppers."   
"Really how many?"  
"About eight." Xelgadis said casually.  
"Eight grapes?" Gourry asked.  
"Eight apes." Xelgadis said.  
"I don't remember. I was a little mazoku wolf. A baby at my mother's teat." Zellos recovered beautifully.  
"I would never forget something like eight great apes who eating demonic pickle grapes. You are ribbing me. The both of you." Amelia said.  
"No, it's true." Zellos said.  
"Eight great apes ate eight grapes." Amelia tossed her head "You two are trying to trick me."  
Lina continued plowing through her pile face first, like a caterpillar, closing her eyes, wearing away at the pile.  
The old man put another one in his mouth.  
While Petey's face turned green. He began wheezing.  
"He is faltering behind Lina." Xelgadis pointed.  
"He should have paced himself."  
"Like the eighth ape on his eight grape paced himself. I remember that now." Zellos said.  
"Will you stop with rubber baby buggy bumpers humor and give me some support?" Lina growled.  
"Sorry Lina." They said.  
"I've never eaten anything so spicy in my--" Lina's brain stopped "life."  
"They said these things are spicy." Gourry said.  
"I've got to win. I've got to beat that old man. I'll bet he's out already. If The Dragon is gone."  
The old man waved at her "How are you doing, Miss Inverse?"  
"I'll win yet." Lina tried to stand up.  
"Bow out, girlie. Take a milk and throw in the towel." The old man patted her on the back. "These are Pelonian Peppers."  
Lina was weeping fire. "Never, you peppery bastard. I will not let you win this eating contest." Lina panted.  
Lina grabbed a handful of peppers, chewing on them defiantly, before turning red and continuing eating on.  
Gourry wrung his hands "Eventually she should become immune to the spiciness? Right?" Gourry said.  
"It hasn't been the case so far." Zellos said.  
Lina stood up and roused herself. "It's psychological. If I don't believe it's spicy I can win. I can eat them."   
Lina continued putting peppers in her mouth. As the old man popped, chewed, swallowed and sighed in a robotic well paced attack. Pop, chew, swallow, and sigh. Pop, chew, swallow, and sigh. Pop, chew, swallow, and sigh. Pop, chew, swallow, and sigh....  
"Maybe it wasn't such an idea to have an eating contest with a pig and a angel. A mortal can't handle it."  
The old man walked over to Lina's pile and began to eat her peppers.  
"Oh no. She's getting behind. He's eating hers." Amelia gasped. "What do we do?"  
Gourry got a little gerbil with Lina's head running in a wheel above his head "I have an idea!"  
Gourry ran off to the fountain.  
"Hikari O!"  
He picked up a block of wood and began cutting.  
  
"He isn't human," the crowd gasped at Van.  
Lina held her nose and tried to swallow without chewing.  
By then Gourry had what he needed to help Lina. He dipped the creation in the water and ran to her.  
"I can't believe she's still going." the villagers said, "She's a maniac. We should call the undertaker..."  
Lina's burnt tongue wouldn't even fit in her mouth it was so swollen. She bit her tongue.  
"Lina." Gourry said bursting through the crowd "I got you something. Here drink this water.  
"WATER!" Lina groaned.  
"Go on Lina." Amelia said giving a victory sign "There is no rule you can't get a little help."  
Lina drank the water.  
And then began to scream, "HWAAAAAAA!"  
A shot of flame came out of her mouth.  
"What happened?"  
Izzy the milk boy shook his head. "She shouldn't be drinking water. That only makes it worse."  
"What but it's water."  
The milk boy pulled out a chart of the human mouth and esophagus and a pie graph. He pointed at it with a pointer.   
"The chemical capscasin causes a chemical reaction to convince the skin it is being exposed to heat, as a defense mechanism to avoid fire and other skin damaging heat. Hence the burning sensation and inflammation when one eats peppers. To drink water wouldn't dilute the chemical at this point."  
Xelgadis grabbed him tipping over his visual aids"In English?"  
" It washes the spice around on her tongue." Zellos spelled.  
"What does that mean?" Gourry asked.  
"It will make it worse."  
"Uh-oh." Gourry looked at his glass. And poured it upside down "No more water."  
Lina picked her charred beaten body off the ground. She grabbed another hand full "Not spicy at all. I'll just have a drink of water."  
"Lina you can't-"  
"I need WATER!" She grabbed it away from Gourry.  
"But that just makes the peppers-"  
A cloud of flame erupted around Lina's head, leaving the crowd panicking and running away. Her friends were charred by the flames.  
Gourry coughed "Worse."  
Lina stood up and roused herself "It's psychological. I've been through worse. I've killed worse. I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY A PIECE OF FOOD!"  
She fell on the piles only strong enough to eat with her lips  
"I guess all the food we ate over the years is getting vengeance." Gourry said  
"The pile is almost gone." Zellos announced, "I bet you if Lina eats anymore steam will come out of her ears." Zellos said.  
"Only if we're lucky," Xelgadis said, sucking on his mochachino.  
"But the old man has only a few more peppers to go. He's eating Lina's too. So that's how he wins. He eats his opponents peppers."  
Gourry stood up. "That cheater."  
"It is unjust."  
"You guys that means he has to eat more peppers not less. Think clearly." Zellos said uncharacteristically bitter.  
"Oh my fruitcake is all cranky." Xelgadis glomped him. "He's all cranky and mean because he had too much booze last night."  
"It was wine."  
"Never-the-less Xel-kun it was substance abuse."  
Gourry and Amelia stared at them confused. Were they supposed to act like that?  
"Cheatin' is cheatin'." Gourry said  
"This situation is desperate. We need to come together and... and..." Amelia rolled up her sleeve.  
"Yeah I know you are talking about-"  
"Do the 'perfect cheer'!"  
The boys face-faulted.  
The old man looked at the pig boy lying flat on his back, "How many pickled piscus peppers could Peter Piscataway pick through?" the old man asked himself. He saw the girl's friends standing on each other's shoulders cheering. "And the girl is wonderful. She won't give up. I don't know whether to shake her hand or run frightened. I'm glad I don't have to battle her. With those red eyes she even looks like old Dilandau sama. But he's be gone for a long while."  
Lina put the peppers in her mouth and they fell out.  
"Do it Lina."  
"I can't. My brain is on fire."  
"I guess that means I win," the old man said.  
"No! I didn't even get to do my big victory cheer. Zelgadis lift me up."  
"Huh?"  
"Come on. We've got to do it for Lina."  
"Dammit, Amelia, I'm a shaman, not a cheerleader," Xelgadis said, sounding suspiciously anachronistic and like that doctor guy in Star Trek.   
The old man lifted his ears to a familiar voice.  
He looked once again towards Lina's friends. The old man's eyes hardened with rage. "Hey, that guy looks awfully familiar."  
"Eep?" Zellos looked at the old man."Oh no, it's that old couple," Zellos whispered. He covered his eyes and hid behind Amelia.  
"I remember you. You were that no good horrible pervert in the woods." He said. "How dare you show your face around here?!"  
"I didn't-" Zellos trembled. The old man walked straight up to the intruder.  
"You are a rude little punk who deserves a lesson." The old man rolled up his sleeves.  
"What?"  
Everyone looked at Xelgadis.  
"How very rude." Xelgadis put his hands on his hips. "I never did anything to you."   
Zellos kicked him in the shin "Yes *I* did, remember?"  
"Uh-oh."  
"Contestants are reminded to keep away from the audience."  
"Oh stuff it, Judge. I don't have time for this." He shook his fist at the judge. "Make her the winner. Honestly. I never saw anyone get so obsessed over a little contest. It's only peppers." The old man shook his head.  
"Whoever eats the most peppers wins. And accordingly-" the judge pointed to the two piles, with three a piece, "You are ahead by one."  
"One peppers to win."  
Lina could no longer move "Ggggggg."  
Amelia grabbed her. "Come on, Lina! Never give up on your dream. Guys, help me out."  
Xelgadis held Lina's nose, Zellos yanked her tongue and Amelia dropped in the pepper.   
Lina spit it out.  
"Cram it in,Lina! You're almost there. If you really want to win you can do it," Gourry said.  
Lina looked up. "Blou thlink I cun doit." He tongue swollen like a big red balloon about to pop.   
"I thought that you thought this was stupid. That a real man didn't need to eat peppers."  
"Well you aren't a real man, are you Lina? You can do it."  
"I know you can do it, Lina," Gourry said under his breath. "That's what scares me."  
Lina placed the pepper in her mouth and chomped smiling crossing her arms in arrogant triumph then passed out.  
"By Default the Pickled Piscus Pepper Contest is Lina Inverse! Eating 149,999 peppers! A festival record!"  
The crowd cheered.  
"As the first girl to ever won the contest in the last 100 years. We had to look to our records. And so according to the town charter is elected Miss Hot Chili Pepper."  
The girls in the town stood up all at once. "What?!"  
Candy grumbled, "That short flat-chested dip. She's not even from our town."  
Even unconscious her instincts were sharp. Unconscious her first response was to slap Gourry as a reflex.   
"It wasn't me," Gourry huffed.  
Zellos smiled. "It was the girl with the pink hair."  
"Oh." She threw a fireball into the crowd.   
Lina stood up. "What happened? Why is someone having a death wish by commenting on my physique?"   
"Lina, you won the contest!" Gourry punched her in the arm and lifted her for a bear hug. "You are Miss Hot Chili Pepper!"  
"Justice triumphs!" Amelia made her justice sign.  
"Ewww," Lina groaned. "I think that I got a chili pepper up my nose."  
"Who would have guessed you would be a beauty queen?" Gourry said.  
"What?"  
Gourry looked around pretending to look in the audience "Who said that?"  
Lina looked at her victory.  
"Wow, only a few peppers left in the pile."  
Only one glowed with evil power.  
"I wonder if that old legend is true," Amelia said. "If someone could eat 150 thousand peppers they could do anything."  
A huge flaming cloud floated over the tiny village, with beams of red and orange shooting out of it. A chorus of demons and evils spirits sang an evil eerie song, "Lina is our master. Lina is our queen. Lina is the-"  
"That's stupid. Evil magic peppers? Feh." Lina stood up. "I'm not eating any more of these awful things." She threw the pepper at the cloud.  
Inside the cloud all the evil pepper spirits frowned and began to cry.  
  
Meanwhile across the happy scene, Xelgadis was being chased by the old man and his wife. "Van Slanzar de Fanel, leave that Chimera alone! He's just a baby!" The Seeress grabbed her husband, giving Zellos and Xelgadis enough time to duck behind a picnic table they toppled over.  
"Zelgadis, you're a peeping Tom!"  
Zellos gasped, "It's not his fault!"  
The man growled.  
"I mean it really isn't his fault," Zellos said under his breath "Man is he screwed over."  
"It's no fair. I'm getting threatened by people I don't know!" Xelgadis began raining tears as he sped past.  
"Well, but-"  
"And you were so worried that someone would kill me 'cause I was so bad. Well, I guess I'm not so fearsome and loathsome after. You should know better."  
"Xelgadis get back here and hide like a man!" Zellos said. "Stop crying!" Zellos shrunk down.  
"You, you weird boy, you too." The old man   
Zellos held out his staff and deflected the sword blow easily. The old man froze.  
"ZEL!!! What are you doing with that staff?" Xelgadis freaked.  
"I, Zellos Metallium, assure you, as his friend, that he would never-"  
Van swung his sword and he blocked the blow.  
Zellos stood up again "You don't understand, he is a morally upright-"  
Swing.  
Slash.  
"He is a man of honor."  
Van drove the point of the sword towards his throat.  
"Oh, and I'm gay," Xelgadis said.  
The old man froze.  
"Zelgadis is not gay!" Zellos shrieked.  
"Oh yeah. Yes I am. I like the fellas. There is nothing I like more then the idea of men having hot sex. Especially with me."  
"Huh?" the old man froze.  
Zellos's hands wrapped around Xelgadis's throat. "What are you saying?"  
"Oh come on. Of course I am." Xelgadis said, "Don't be so naive."  
"I'm not naive. I'm- coming to the fact that you, Xelgadis, are not gay."  
"I would know. The way I leer at Gourry and you. But, well, how can I help but stare at you Zellos, you are..." Xelgadis blew a kiss at him.  
"Well I'm sorry."  
"Oh don't worry sir. It happens all the time. I am the biggest closet case I know. Why, seriously, I was probably trying to deny my raging homosexuality by pretending to watch you and your wife. It was to resurrect my non-existent heterosexuality."  
"Well, my Hitomi *is* pretty."  
"It was a cry for help. And a wake up call. I'm only sorry I had to torture you. I wouldn't even be surprised if you did kill me."  
"So you didn't mean it at all. You're more messed up than my brother," the old man said.  
"The only people I am sexually interested in are men," Xelgadis said  
"You dirty liar!" Zellos beat him over the head with the staff.  
"What, you know it's the truth, Zellos. You of all people."  
"What are you talking about? Xelgadis is a stud. You'd never be attracted to a guy."  
Lina sighed. "Well their was that Miwan in Femille."  
"That was an honest mistake," Zellos said.  
"Mr. Xellos. You said it was hard evidence when we left Femille."  
"It was," Xelgadis nodded.  
"Why are you doing this to me?" Zellos tore at his violet hair. "Are you trying to raise my blood pressure? Are you trying to make me want to kill you?"  
"Zellos, calm yourself. You know you were right," Xelgadis touched his shoulder.  
"It was not. I, as a mazoku, cannot tell the truth, have a perverted sense of reality, and a brain the size of a under-ripe cashew."  
Xelgadis gasped. "That's not true. You take it back!"  
"No," Zellos said.  
"Mazoku have preternatural abilities to reveal the darkest truths about us," Xelgadis said.  
"Oh, yeah, right," Lina said.  
"They are fearsome creatures," Xelgadis shook Lina.  
"Let me tell you something Xel-chan," Zellos poked him. "I am about as fearsome as a rabid gerbil. I mean I am a complete joke. Why else would I always be smiling? Sore wa Himitsu desu? I'm surprised no has killed me. In fact that must mean I'm utterly harmless."  
"You are one of the most dangerous mazoku in the world."  
"I thought so too. But if we have to be honest..."  
"At least I'm a closet case!" Xelgadis glared at the violet haired man sharply.  
"At least I'm a fruitcake!" Zellos said pointing at the Chimera.  
"Closet Case!"  
"Fruitcake!"  
The two growled at each other.  
"What are they talking about? Themselves?" Amelia asked.  
"They don't take compliments well," Gourry said.  
"I think they had too much sun today," Lina whispered.  
Zellos grabbed Amelia. "Amelia. You tell them. Is Xelgadis gay?"  
"No, no, not Zelgadis. I mean he may be bi-curious. But he... he can't be."  
"See and she's his close friend. So in conclusion-"  
The old man tried to cut off Xelgadis's head again.  
"Your friends say you lie. You were leering at my wife. I knew it."  
"That's not the conclusion I had in mind."  
"Gee Xellos. I know you're a mazoku, but you don't need to get him killed." Lina said.  
"But I'm not-" Zellos squeaked.  
The old man tackled him.  
Zellos looked at the struggle. Oh great to defend his virility Xelgadis would have to die. This was horrible. He had to do something take some responsibility.  
Of course that didn't mean he had to reveal anything.  
"Xelgadis, duck. Blast Wave!" why's everything in Italics now? ^_^;;  
  
He went flying in the air, coasting over the mountains flitting and careening past the tiny village into the heart of the   
wilderness.  
  
"Wow. Xellos, you are a sadistic bastard. Beating up an old man like that."   
"You are twisted."  
"But I was doing the- I was..."  
Xelgadis winked at him "You disgust me. He was only an old man."  
  
****  
  
Xelgadis sat in the room. Then light jazz tinkled into the room as she entered.  
"Xelgadis, I.. I have to come forth to tell you something."  
"Yes, Amelia-chan."  
  
"But first I have to ask you. Was it true?"  
"Was what true, Honey?"  
"Do you... are you gay?"  
"Well..."  
"I have to know."  
"What ever for, my sweet Amelia. And How is it any of your business damn business, my sweetheart?"  
Amelia came up to him and held his face. "I love you."  
"Oh. That's cool," Xelgadis said.  
"I was talking with Xellos just last night. And he.... I don't know what he said to you."  
"Nothing."  
"But he is right."  
"Well, he is as smart as he is handsome," Xelgadis smiled.  
"Zelgadis, you will be the only one I love, by strength, by courage. I must prove myself to you. I must show you I am worthy. By this courage. I love you." Amelia grinned. "I can't believe I said it."   
"Me neither."  
"I like saying it. I love you." Amelia spun around him. "ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU."  
"Wow. Doppler Effect." Xelgadis smiled.  
She threw her arms around him.  
"Why?"  
"I guess because you're so great."  
"So, love happens when you are great?"  
"Yes," Amelia said. "I'm never going to find a smarter stronger more wonderful champion than you. And I have stopped searching."  
Xelgadis sat in the midst of the great Mazoku mystery. Human love.  
"If you love me because I'm great, then how come so many jerks have babies?"  
Amelia thought about it for a second. Then she laughed. "You can be so silly."  
Xelgadis looked at her.  
"And you have nothing to say in return? Tell me anything."  
"Ditto."  
"Di? What?"  
"Oh, I love you too." Xelgadis shrugged "Honey."  
"Oh, Zelgadis!"  
With this a new fighting move was added to the famous Seiryun repertoire. The Flying Horny Face Sucking Monster kiss. Later the name of this would be cleaned up, as the Kiss of The Power of True love. Xelgadis was pinned ten feet back into the nearest brick wall as Amelia tackled him.  
"But, Amelia."  
"No, I'm not in the mood for a broken hip. I'm taking charge here."  
"Awful bossy."  
"I'm a Princess. I am your Princess."  
"Let's go."  
Amelia peeled off of him.  
"Let's go up. Come on. LEVITATION!" Amelia began to float.  
She scooted out the window. Xelgadis stared.  
"Catch me."  
He was still in so many ways the vile wolf of his first body. The chase and the night ahead. Those were things no wolf could deny. Even if it was a condor and not a luscious gazelle he was flying after. One didn't question what they prey was. One caught it.  
"RAY WING!" He jumped out the window.  
Amelia was zipping along. She was a real hot bird.  
"It's like every good thing with us ends in the air," Amelia said, flying around him, zipping like a bird. "When we saved Alto with our two halves. Or when we trashed those castles."  
Hmm. Challenge. Xelgadis never realized the burden of all that rock weight in flight. He was using three times the power on this spell he normally did. There was no way he could really use his weight against her. Canny little chick.  
She looped up to the moon. Xelgadis tried to work up enough strength to join her. He cast another spell and joined her.  
Xelgadis looked at Amelia. She clasped onto him and looked him in the eyes.  
"Do you want to?"  
"Um..." Xelgadis said.  
Amelia turned her head towards him. Lips against his. The world was under them. They were with the clouds and the moon.  
Then he closed his eyes and she hers.  
Her lips whispered words never heard.  
And stone fell.  
Amelia dropped the spell on her own body.  
"Okay first to chicken out has to kiss the other."  
And Xelgadis began to plummet as Amelia did.  
****  
Gourry was walking in the halls. She'd need it eventually. He was in the nice comfy pajamas leaving his armor in his room.  
"Lina."  
"Gourry."  
Lina was dressed only in a man's dressing shirt but it went past her knees.  
"Gomen Lina. I- I..."  
"Oh, Gourry, you are not peeping. I don't have any pants. The girls I beat in the dumb beauty contest buried my clothes while I was in the hospice."  
"I got this for you, for you tummy."  
Lina stared at him. "..."  
"It's not a healing spell. It's a bicarbonate soda. But Amelia is... busy."  
"Thank you Gourry."  
"Well."   
"My stomach is fine! I'm Lina Inverse! I'll recover."  
"Oh, absolutely."  
Gourry heard an awful grumbling Earthquake noise.  
Lina curled up into a glob on the bench. "Oi...."  
"Here, drink it up."  
"Sit down. Nice night." Lina looked over at him then at the view below the balcony.  
"Yeah."  
She folded up her legs on the bench.   
"*mumble* Thanks for telling me not to quit. If I convinced you it was the right thing to do."  
"No problem, Lina."  
Gourry smiled, "You have that lady to tell you your future."  
"Yes."  
"It makes you think," Gourry said.  
"What? You ever think about the future Gourry?"  
Gourry looked down at her. "No." He held her hands. "I can make enough guesses."  
She tilted her head on him. He was shocked.  
****  
  
Zellos stretched and fell back into the bed. He bounced on the mattress. He was surprised. It had been a long time before he had learned to sleep in a bed after the transformation. He cracked a few beds in his day from being clumsy. Almost as bad as when he broke his floor. Well he wouldn't do anything like that in Xellos's body. Now he was all set to go to sleep.  
He bounced again. "Cool." He jumped up again. And laughed. He hadn't done this since he was a kid. He hadn't done anything since he was a kid. He hadn't combed his hair or brushed his teeth with mint toothpaste or even cut himself shaving. Did Xellos grow hair on his face? Okay, he knew he grew hair... he tried to forget the color he had found underneath the towel. But he had never shaven before when he was human. He'd have to learn how. And putting on colognes and getting black eyes. Well he would eventually, if he kept acting like Xellos.  
Plunked in the bed noisily squeaking as he fidgeted. There could be no more wonderful body to get tired in and then relax. There, sleeping in his new underwear. Maybe this wasn't horrible experience. He wasn't going to get another chance like this.  
  
****  
  
"What's that squeaking bed?" Lina asked herself.  
"This is one of those hotels. I think we're above the honeymoon suite."  
"It sounds like they were jumping."  
  
****  
  
Zellos did a back flip and laughed.  
"Somersault."  
  
****  
  
Lina didn't want to say where she saw Zelgadis walking with Amelia, but let the subject pass tactfully. Especially when she heard Amelia's whooping caterwaul in the distance. Wow. Maybe it wasn't always the quiet ones.  
"Lina. There was something I never got to tell you today."  
"What?"  
"Well it's..."  
A loud noise came from the night.  
"YEEEEEEOOOOOW GO Go go!" Xelgadis howled in the distance.  
"Don't pull back. We're almost there!" Amelia shouted.  
They waited until her voice stopped echoing. Lina breathed in. Gourry was transfixed as they both tried to ignore it.  
"What was it Gourry?"   
"I'm trying to say."  
"...Saying."  
A huge whooshing noise that came into range.  
"What? I can't HEAR YOU!"  
The whoosh of a huge object entering the Earth's gravity. Gourry and Lina plugged their ears.  
"YOU LOOKED PRETTY! I THINK YOU MAKE A GREAT BEAUTY QUEEN!"  
"THANK YOU GOURRY! THAT IS A SWEET THING TO SAY BUT-"  
"I MEAN IT, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!"  
Amelia clawed her fingers into his back "Okay, okay, okay. Scream!!!"  
Xelgadis howled, "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSss!"  
Lina tried not to blush.  
"OH! WHY, GOURRY I'M SPEECHLESS!"  
"WHAT?"  
"I'm speechless." Lina sounded out with her lips.  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY LINA?"  
"NOTHING, I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING, I'M SPEECHLESS."  
"I must have cast a spell to do that." Gourry laughed to himself. "She sure knows how to open her big mouth."  
The cabinets began to rattle and the closets emptied.  
Lina pointed at her ear.  
"I"M GOING TO-" the noise let down.  
"What"  
"Um um um. This."  
Gourry puckered his lips. And it was too clear. Lina smiled, leaned her head in...   
  
Zellos appeared covering his ears. "I'm scared. What's that noise?"  
"Alright, alright, I was too polite to admit it- It's Amelia and Zelgadis."  
Zellos froze.  
"What?"  
"They were making the bed springs squeak like they were jumping on it."  
"Amelia.... WHAT!!!" Zellos grabbed Lina.  
Zellos passed out.  
"Wow. You killed another Mazoku," Gourry said.  
"Uh oh." She poked Zellos. "If Amelia asks he was trying to take over the city."  
"Okay. Poor guy." Gourry shrugged. "He was the smallest monster I ever knew. He also drank the most."  
Lina stood up over Zellos's body and looked at Gourry.  
"I'm going to-" Gourry stared at her, "Miss him."  
"Yeah." Lina stared gooey eyed at him. "He was-"  
Gourry leaned in to kiss her again. She grabbed him.  
"But Amelia. No No. She she shesheshesheshe. DAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Zellos squealed.  
"Hmmm... I guess he's not dead." Lina kicked him.  
Zellos clutched his chest "I am going straight to Helle. I've destroyed her! I've... What have I DONE, LINA?"  
Lina slapped him turned him around and Gourry slapped on the other cheek.  
"Wow, I never thought I'd have to do that to Xellos, except for fun," Lina said.  
"Xellos are you going to be..." Gourry asked.  
"Oh my god it was last night, I told her. Why didn't I stop her she-Oh my-"  
Lina lifted her fist again.  
"Oh, losing Zelgadis has made Xellos lose his mind," Gourry whimpered holding her arm.  
"He was sane?" Lina asked.  
Zellos began bawling like a baby and glomped onto Gourry. "What have I done to her, Gourry?"  
"Hold me, and protect me from the scary noises!" Zellos wrapped around Gourry's neck.  
"Hey, I'm sorry Xellos, it's too late."  
"But she's that's what."  
"Look they are crazy about each other."  
"You've got that half right," Zellos muttered.  
"Xellos-kun isn't that a little long to be holding on to Gourry?"  
"He-"  
Lina smacked him. And made him lose consciousness.  
"What did you do that for? If he wasn't a mazoku I'd say that was mean."  
"He 's... he's... Aren't you worried with all that going on between him and... well he's... Aren't you afraid he'll come onto you?"  
"Nonsense, he's in love with Xelgadis. And I'm not gay. Silly goose."  
"Yes but-"  
"I wonder what Amelia and Zelgadis are doing right now?"  
  
*****  
  
Xelgadis deprived of his shirt it the fiery blast from the crater, pulled out cigarettes out of nowhere.  
Amelia leaned back.  
"Let me borrow your cloak Zelgadis."  
Xelgadis passed the cloak to her.  
"Where did a sweet little princess learn how to free fall like that?"  
"I practice. I knew you would like it."  
Xelgadis looked around. "This is nice."  
"Hai. You made a nice crater. It will probably make a nice pond."  
"I'm sorry I didn't pull up in time."  
"But you're alive. I think that's wonderful," Amelia said.  
"I can barely blink. I think you will kill me."Xelgadis smiled.  
She cuddled into his chest.  
Then the strange part began.  
"I like looking up at the sky and looking at the clouds. And pretending they are shaped like things. Like Bunnies and Swords and Horses. Look there! A cow."  
Xelgadis closed his eyes. Yes there had to be a down side to this whole love thing.  
"A tree. A little baby dragon. A pony."  
Xelgadis gritted his teeth and prayed for her to get his lung cancer from his second hand smoke. She coughed a little already.  
"Oh!" She said with wonder. "Pretty."  
A red cloud floated overhead. Amelia looked again. Well it was a nice color, and only because it was making horrible noises and flames were shooting out of it.  
"That doesn't look like a good omen."  
  
*****  
  
Lina sighed as she saw the breakfast.  
"Oh boy. Breakfast is great," Gourry said, finishing his eighth plate.  
Lina ate a bite of egg. "It tastes like pepper."  
Gourry pushed the plate aside "Eat a pancake. These are so fluffy!"  
"Can I have one?" Zellos asked.  
"Sure." Gourry fed him one and wiped his mouth.  
Lina grumbled and stole the plate. Then she took a bite "Tastes like peppers."  
"You can let me out Gourry," Zellos said. "I've calmed down. I'm not going to go crazy."  
"Now now. We'll go find Amelia and she can explain," Lina said  
"Waffle Xellos-kun?"  
"I can barely make it through these blintzes."  
She put the plate in her mouth. "Everything tastes like peppers!!!! It's horrible."  
"Can we go now? We've got to save Amelia." Zellos struggled. "I see now I was being flaky, a little unhinged. I'm embarrassed at what I was saying. Now please untie me."  
Xellos was tied in plain ordinary hempen ropes to the chair underneath him. Surely the inn owners wouldn't mind if it spared a girls life and possibly the city.  
"Well, maybe..."  
Lina hit Gourry. "No. He'll just go flying after them in a jealous rage. Don't you read romance novels?"  
"I think we can trust him." Gourry argued.  
"Maybe he's just..."  
Zellos cast a small spell and burned the rope.  
"I think we can trust him," Gourry said.   
Zellos snapped free, "I'm going to kill them."  
"We've got to stop him! It's all your fault!"  
  
Xelgadis was looking at another section of sky. A section of sky filled with a purple streak. He gulped.  
"No."  
They heard a crash.  
"Xel! You heartless disgusting fiend!"  
They saw Zellos flying like a bullet towards them, wielding the staff.  
"Um what is that? What is he doing with that?" Xelgadis began to tremble "What is he doing?"  
"Xel!!! You nasty despicable-"  
"Zelgadis, he's gone mad! I don't know! Xellos is after me! Is he after me?"  
She glomped Xelgadis.  
Behind him, Lina was flying. "Don't do it, Xellos. You like Amelia!"  
"No, not a good omen." 


End file.
